The Beginning of the Bend

The boys snuggled at the hotel in Boise

I will start with the travel. Or I will start with the goodbye. It was hard, and still when I think about it tears quickly spring to my eyes. It was so busy in our lives leading up to pulling out of the drive way. Though, I thanked my parents for all they did, I certainly intended to say more, but truly could not do it. I am still finding it so hard to truly express the gratitude that is within my heart, perhaps because they did more than I can thank, or just because I cry when I think about it. Either way, I hope they know how much it means that they opened up their home to us for a very long time, with little complaint, and loved our boys every day they were there. It has been a hard thing for me to make drastic changes in the boys lives. I know they are resilient, and I know they will be fine, but, I feel badly if they can't express their questions and confusion as well as they would like. So, needless to say, I cried, and actually could have cried more, but I could not let myself dwell on it. 

sweet notes left on the boxes the girls in Terryville helped me pack up

The drive. The drive actually went very very well. I hoped so, since our last experience seemed so nightmarish it seemed slim that it could match that. But, it was actually so much better than I thought. They boys slept well. They also seemed to just plain handle the drive better. We split the drive in half stopping in Boise to sleep. Sam left at 2:45am to get to the house for people to meet and help us unpack the truck, before he left he whispered, "l love you, the next time I see you, I will see you at home." I smiled as I heard the door shut quietly. The second day drive was a breeze, they slept a lot of it, and we only had to stop once. It was great. It was strange pulling up to the house knowing this was our new house, and let's see what we have to work with. It was actually pretty exciting to see how much space we had, and overwhelming to see just how many boxes we had to fill that space right now. I fill we have our room pretty squared away, the kitchen, the boys rooms are close, and we are closing in on that one area that everything tends to migrate during a move in process, it is where all the stuff ends up that you don't  want to deal with, or you don't know what to do with yet. It is pretty funny though, no matter what box we open, or how it is labeled without a doubt there are still toys in that box. There are literally toys in every box.

These are just the first pictures that we took of the house getting in, so I will definitely putting more up as things are more together, but the pile of empty boxes doesn't quite get me too excited to break out the camera. 

Sam starts work tomorrow. As of right now, he does not know where he is going, what time he is going, and what he is doing. It has been great having him around these first days settling in, it would have been so much harder had he not been. So, we will see what I can do with settling myself in more, and helping the boys transition in their new home now that he will be gone in the days.

front room area

A couple days prior to leaving Ashley helped me by watching the boys

happy to have camping chairs

the future playroom area

Classic Sam behavior

Why are We Doing This Again?

This is the classic line that Sam turns to me and asks typically when both of the boys are going crazy. And typically, in those moments, I really don't have a good answer for him. But, regardless, we are expecting another boy arriving in Jan/Feb. Another boy. I look at Kaj and Josh sometimes in complete joy as they play or laugh together, and then other times wide eyed and really really scared. When I found out it took a minute to swallow, Sam apologized first. But, then when I asked him what he thought of the news he said: "I think that they are going to be the best of friends, and they are going to love their mom more than you know." And that's verbatim. I started to cry at the sweetness of his words, and hoped that, that was true. I know Sam meant it. My mom, who was with me, began to say funny things like "Well, you will aways have a moving crew," "You will never have to move another box again," "You will always have the lightest pack if you go backpacking." All probably true. Ha! Really, 3 boys will be crazy and fun. I like being a mom to boys. I love their differences, and their funniness, and love every time they want to hold my hand. I can't picture this new little one, I can only imagine he will be a cross between Kaj and Josh? Seemingly neglecting most of my genes altogether. Sam asked me a couple times now, who do you think he will be like? More like Josh or more like Kaj? And, I feel like he will be like neither. Just a whole other ball game. I will get another peak at him in a couple days, it is always fun to get a glimpse of your baby. Maybe after that I will have more insight to what this kid will be like, but I am not putting any money on it.

On the Road Again to Find a Home

We decided that after discovering that Sam would be starting his job on the 19th of September giving us about 2 and half weeks to get our lives packed back up, and moved, it may be a good idea to find a place to live. We tried to make arrangements to have our family's watch Kaj, and it was getting rather complicated, and seemed to be complicating the lives of those family members, so Sam made the final call that we just drive there altogether. I didn't mind this plan at all. It might even be fun. Well, the first 2 hours of the drive there it was not fun at all. My sickness was coming back full swing, and the boys were either crying, fighting, or screaming in the back of the car. I looked at Sam many times and thought- "this was your idea, and oh, what a great idea it was." I imagined Sam and I flying on a plane together, and there was no mass hysteria going on around us. It did calm down after a while.

Of course, on a road trip with kids you do plan on many stops. Bum changing stops, eating stops, just need to stretch the ole legs stops, and others. The trip there it seemed we doubled the amount of stops even with kids. I wanted to be the annoying kid in the back of the car asking "are we there yet?" We ended up at a dive pizza place, as it turned out it was a place featured on Man vs. Food. Ha! Awesome. A couple hours later Josh started going crazy crying, and it was convenient timing, because I then threw up off the side of the road. I decided then and there my "pregnancy glow" looks a lot like that. Me, throwing up off the side of the road. And also, I do not believe there is a "pregnancy glow."

Nothing could be more glorious a feeling of when we arrived in Bend. The boys didn't get to bed till probably 11:30 that night. We woke up plenty early, because we had booked ourselves to see houses all morning. We looked at about 12 places in 2 days. Needless to say, the boys were pretty good sports considering this was not an ideal trip for them. Saturday morning we woke up and had to make a decision between 2 places. I don't know why it was so hard for me, but I was crying, and breaking down, and calling my dad, and really not wanting to make the decision. Our second choice, which had more space, said they would drop their price, and that they really wanted us in there. We went back and forth, and then went with that choice. I feel good about, and so does Sam, and I think it will be a really nice home for our family at this time. It is also big enough for visitors so I extend a warm welcome!
    I do wish I had taken pictures...but, pictures will come soon enough. We are leaving in T minus 4 days. This is nuts. I get nervous, and a bit scared, and then really really sad for the boys. I felt similar to leaving New York. It is very hard for me to take the boys away from everything that is now familiar. Kaj makes a check list of everyone who lives in this home every morning. "Where'd Mor Mor go?" "Where'd Pappy go?" "Sam home?" I have been trying to prepare him, and telling him we are not going to live with Mor Mor or Pappy anymore, asking are you ok with that? Sometimes he says yes, other times he says no. With Josh, he was too little to remember the New York house, so this is all he knows. I am very happy they have each other.
  Saturday after making the decision and putting a deposit down on the place we just wanted to hit the road. The trip had been a success- we have a place to live! And we thought there wasn't really a reason to stay. We booked a hotel in Boise which was the half way mark just to break up the trip this time, and it was a good thing. This trip seemed to be going a lot better, but we left around 2:00 in the afternoon after letting the boys have a longer stop eating their sandwiches and looking at the "pows."(cows)  We were making pretty good time this time, we had our rabbit on the road we named "Red" a car who was just cruising a long and our goal was to always end up behind "Red."
A couple hours away from Boise,  by then "Red" was long gone, and Kaj started telling us his tummy hurts. I had seen that look in the car before, and I started to remove all the items that Kaj had on his lap in the event that things get serious. A few seconds later things got serious, and we pulled off to the side of the road just as Kaj was finishing throwing up. (And for a kid that skinny I had not idea where all that had come from) (Sorry to be gross) Then, being the awesome helper that I am right now, it made me throw up. Sam was stuck on the brunt of clean up duty while I helped Josh.

There the 4 of us were on the side of the road, Kaj in nothing but a diaper, his clothes and shoes stuffed in a bag, and we took one look at that carseat and there was no way in H he would be able to sit back in that thing. Where was the next town? 10 miles. So Kaj on my lap, buckled in, and driving extra careful, ducking any sign of coppers we strolled into the next small town. I felt really awesome with a 3 year old on my lap pulling into the gas station. "Was that wrong? Cause if I had known anything was wrong with that..." ha Anyways, so I went inside to ask if they had anything like a Target or Walmart, and that guy smiled at me like "you silly traveller" and told me no there wasn't, but there was a Bi-Mart. Bi-Mart? Ok, "Do you think they have a carseat?" Because, what do you have to do when you are parents just rolling with the punches? You purchase a new carseat, and dump the one covered in sickness. So that is exactly what we did. Sam walked over to the dumpster behind McDonalds, brushed his hands of it and walked away. There was a manager who went to look in the dumpster as we pulled away to see what this mystery item was.. and I bid him good luck as we drove away.

What a trip?! One for the story book, Sam said. Yes, indeed. So we will make the trip again in a few days, Sam driving the moving truck, and me with the boys. I really hope this is an easier trip on everyone. But, hey! We have a place to live! And, if I am lucky I will get to listen to the "Monkey song" aka "I want to be like You" from the Jungle Book another hundred times.