Like most this in the year of 2020-my blog this year completely fell apart to the point of non existence. How can I catch up this whole year? But, as I went through this photos of the highlights I realized - it really was not all bad. Look how much we still did!? Some things feel like a lifetime ago I must admit. Some of the pictures I can't believe they actually happened in the same year. Family vacations being one of them. We went to the coast when I felt like the world was fighting with itself so much about the Black Lives Matter. We never did go back to school. The virus has continued on throughout the year, and even though there is very high recovery rate the fear about it has taken root. The schools in Oregon did an online learning program, which I knew, right from the start, I was not going to be able to pull off. It was very stressful keeping track of all their meetings, and all the different formats on how to turn in an assignment that I made the decision to homeschool my kids. Which I truly never saw myself doing but, it did feel right. I researched a whole heckofalot for a long time. I decided on the curriculum full knowing that I was committed to the decision no matter what happened with schools. We would homeschool this year. I planned out my whole year. I got many notebooks, and planned assignments, and we stick to our play every day. The boys are used to it by now. Though- after we have our any breaks they act as
if I may forget to start back up again. Some days I wish I would forget, but I don't forget. 
We moved. Which is another crazy thing this year. After Sam and I having the idea on our radar for probably a good year, we got home from our vacation in Utah, and we put our house on the market. I felt shocked when our house sold in 2 days! Not too shocked because the market is/was completely nuts, but I felt like, "How did this happen?!" When clearly, it has been very intentional. After all, we took pictures...we had a for sale put in our yard...we had to leave our home every time some one was coming through our home, I mean I should not have been beside myself but, there was part of me that was dragging my feet at the change. We also did not have our next location in place. That did stress me out. We thought of renting, we thought on Airbnbs, it was extremely difficult to find anything that would work, and after putting in 2 offers that were outbid-thanks to our real estate agent, who was so on the ball, she got us to walk through a house before hitting the market, and then and there we put in an offer with the stipulation to not list it, and that is how we got into our new house. Mom, Whit, and Dad came out to help us pack up, and then a month later Mom, Whit, and Meg came to help us get more settled. They are nice,
Josh got baptized this summer, after all, and we actually had the most fun crowd. We had so much family around and it honestly was so perfect. Everyone had a great time together. We made sure we packed in a lot of fun things. Actually, a story from Josh's baptism is that the day before Josh was baptized we had heard from the primary president that we were not allowed to sing. The piano could play but there was going to be no singing allowed. (💁🏼♀️ I know! What a world we live in right now) The night before, as I prayed I simply asked that if it in Heavenly Father's will I would love to be able to sing at Josh's baptism. My dad and I had been practicing this beautiful song with Megan on the piano, and realized that it may not happen, but still asked. Well, that morning we got there, and I wasn't really holding my breath, Matt Weed was there representing the Bishopric and as he looked over the program he was reiterating what I knew about not being able to sing, but then as he got the musical number, he paused, and just said, "I just - I just don't know about this- I just think that it would be really special if you did this one, and as the bishopric we want you to go ahead and still sing that one." I knew Heavenly Father had answered that small prayer, and I thanked Matt and told my dad and Meg we could sing. It was such a wonderful day. 
It is not fun not knowing what it going to happen next. I am not sure when my kids will get to go to their new school and start making new friends. I don't know when we will see the rest of our family next. I don't know if people will ever be able to stop second guessing giving someone a handshake or a hug, or be able to smile at a stranger when you walk by. It's strange. I know I love my kids. I know that they are good kids. I feel so grateful Sam has work, and we have a home, and food, and clothes, and warmth, and health. So, there is still so much to be thankful for. I also know I can do better. This is why I am here writing this. I write because I love to write. I do it because it makes me happy, and I need to start to doing those things again. So, that I can be my best self. So, it starts here. Where I can honestly and simply write my thoughts. 
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| Kaj's birthday trip with Sam to Missouri |
