The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway

 It has been crazy snowing the last few days! We are big fans of the movie "Frozen" since Mor-Mor first showed it to the boys, and that line circles over and over in my head apparently when we are getting plummeted with snow like this. Also, we listen to the song "let it go" before bed at night, and Josh and I like to do all the dance moves, so it was very exciting to put our snow dancing to good use. This snow is a good and bad thing, because honestly I wouldn't mind the spring to be here, but I also know that we are need of the moisture. So, I guess for the earth's sake, it's ok. It was a fun day. Sam only had to go to work for a couple hours, which meant that he stayed around in the morning to help with the boys, and let me sleep until Rowan was up, and then when he was done with work he took Kaj to get snow boots and sleds. Kaj is always so happy to go with his dad. We bundled the boys up to help us shovel the driveway, and I must say Josh looked pretty hysterical mixed with awesomely cute. He could barely walk, and he looked like he was ready to live in the snow. Kaj hurriedly wanted to get out there and play, and that is exactly what he did. For some reason Josh is the kid that we tend to think that he is ready to try anything, and just love everything as well (I think it is based on how he eats??) but that is not always true. He actually takes some time with new things, and is often quite nervous. Josh mostly stood around in the driveway watching Kaj dig in the snow, and fall into the snow, get thrown into the snow, and then laugh in the snow. In other words, Kaj loved it, and Josh was ok with it. I have no doubts Josh will end up being a fan, but for now he is just getting used to it. We wanted to go sledding as a family, but then with how much it was coming down, and Josh not really taking to it, and then of course, Rowan…not sure if we wanted to send him downhill in a sled just yet, Sam just ended up taking Kaj. I was happy about that, because Kaj was so happy, and Sam said that it was a fun time.

Also, I wanted to share how things are functioning in our family with Rowan now that it has officially been a month since he joined our family. I must say I am pleasantly surprised. I will look over sometimes to see Kaj having full on conversations with Rowan explaining different animals, and about who is who in our family. He will also tell me a lot that, "Rowan is a nice baby," or "Rowan is a new brother…not Joshy. Joshy's not a new brother," or, "Rowan needs new teeth." (He has been very preoccupied with the fact that Rowan does not have any teeth yet) Kaj also really likes to hold Rowan, and then he will look at him and say "He likes me." I am certain that he will. It is very fun to see these interactions especially because when Josh was born I don't even think Kaj noticed him until he was 6 months old. Josh is always wanting to give Rowan kisses, and poke him in the face mostly- but he definitely notices him. It is fun. The times chaos happens is when I am nursing, and I just hear noises. These could be noises that cause suspicion, or just screaming and crying and all I can do is yell "WHAT IS GOING ON?!" And, like always, I hear Kaj say, "Nothing." Naturally. I have actually started creeping out of my room when I am done nursing Rowan nervous to see what took place while I was not available. But, they are funny boys, and pretty sweet boys. I will say this, I have never loved the newborn stage, this is no secret to anyone, I have expressed it before, but I am loving it this time. I think because this time I am really appreciating that Rowan doesn't talk yet, and that quiet, simple, sweetness is absolutely amazing.

Newborn Pictures

These pictures of Rowan's newborns are a few of my favorites. My friend took his pictures as a gift for my baby shower, for one-it was so sweet of her, and I am also so happy about the way they turned out. I love his sweet face so much!

And it's Thomas

For those of you just waiting anxiously by the computer anticipating what Rowan's middle name is you can now rest easy- it is Thomas. We have had a couple weeks of visitors. This last week my mom came back into town! And the week before my dad visited for a couple of days. It was so nice. My parents are amazing people and I am so thankful for them both. They are both such great examples to me. And, I am thankful for the relationships I have with them. They are also such wonderful grandparents to my boys. They are excited to spend time with them, talk with them about silly things, and just stare at newborn baby faces, because that's all you can do with a new baby. 

My dad was able to finish all loose ends in my house in an hour-from hanging up a bookshelf that has needed hanging since..we moved in... to taking down the Christmas tree. We spent one day when my dad was here taking the boys to the park, and then walking to the Old Mill on the trail. It was such a great day outside. The boys ran around like crazy people, and took turns riding on my dad's shoulders. Josh, as usual, is the one you have keep your eye on cause he does not care whether he is with you or not, the fearlessness in the kid strikes fear in me. It was very fun to have my dad here, and nice to have him see where we are at. 

My mom then came back into town. It has been amazing having family come to town back to back to back. We spent many of our days organizing and organizing. This may not sound fun, but it was. Firstly, because my mom beams from ear to ear with every new organized change, and it was just fun being together. She helped me make a lot of things better in my house, and her every suggestion was just spot on to making more sense. Why did I not think of that?? That was pretty much my constant frame of mind. We also were able to take the boys to the pirate park which they loved, and it is always great to have her help and advice with the boys. 

My sister Megan comes into town next. I have to say I am loving my visitors! I can't complain one bit about how this all has worked out. Kaj said to me today "I'm excited to see Meggie." He has started to ask me who is coming next. Meggie will be the last in the line up so I better start preparing him for that now. 

I still feel like I am transitioning, and there are plenty of ups and downs still with the whole family, but there are also times like today when I was just with little Rowan that I couldn't believe it had only been 3 weeks since I had him. It feels like it has been longer. It feels like we have always had him. That's a happy feeling. 

Rowan Thomas Christensen

Kaj holding Rowan for the first time

And Josh being held by a big bear

Rowan ____ Christensen

Rowan and myself right after he was born

In the NICU

Still in the NICU but off the machines

Last night at the hospital

Home

Big brother Josh

Wishing a lot that we had a middle name picked out right about now…but that is all up to Sam, and according to the hospital we have 2 weeks to pick out a middle name. I have a favorite in mind, but anyhow. I finally feel competent enough to write down a little about this little guy. 

He was born on January 5th 2014 at 4:55 am. He was 35 weeks and 6 days which I feel like I can round up to 36 weeks… but the NICU doctors were determined to round down to 35 weeks…ok?? He was 5 lbs and 12 oz and 18 1/2 inches long. As everyone in the family knows I was quite confident I would have him early but there were many moments where I would be think "no, you are way off this time! What are you thinking?!" But I was not thinking he would be earlier than the other boys that was not on my radar. 

Interesting fact time: All my boys were born on a Sunday.

In the days leading up to having baby Rowan we rang in the New Year with a bout of sickness. Starting New Years Eve Josh was having a high fever, and the only thing we ever concluded was that it was his molar breaking through. New Years day was spent with some really grumpy boys, being cooped up in the house for a couple days. After those couple days I went out with some of the girls here and had a great night playing some good old fashioned Bunco, but as soon as Sam and I were getting ready for bed Kaj started wailing much like a cry of when he has a bad dream, I went into his room to see him on his floor, acting really weird. At that point he threw up all over his floor. There was no hurrying a 3 year old to the bathroom, and there was no getting through to him when he was about to throw up. It was a very long night of sickness happening about every hour until we just moved his mattress on the floor in our room just so I could have the privilege of catching his throw up in the bowl. The next day was better, but I was extremely leery of anything he ate. It moved on to the runny bun stage, and that hit Josh but he was definitely not as sick as Kaj, luckily. 

So Saturday night we had planned a game night at our house with a few couples. I began feeling contractions at around 4:30 in the afternoon, very much to the point that canceling made so much sense,  but I felt bad canceling too late. A long with the contracting I was having I also, ahem, was being hit with the same bug my boys had had. As the 8 o clock hour approached when we were expecting everyone I was confined to our room in bed in a very unmoving position clocking the time between contracting and gauging the pain, I tend to trick myself into thinking that it may not be the real thing, but reminding myself that I was definitely in pain. I told Sam I may just have to stay upstairs, he laughed and said "why didn't we just cancel?" but I assured him could entertain easily without me. I did make way downstairs to say "hi" to everyone. The guys were involved in a game of lunch money, and at 9:30 there was no way I could stay any longer. The girls were amazing as they helped me pack a bag which I had not done, as well as volunteer to stay at the house with the boys overnight. I am so happy there was so much willingness to jump right in. It was also so nice, because these were girls that my kids knew, and I felt comfortable leaving them with them, and I knew the boys would be comfortable as well. It made things so much better. 

We got to the hospital at 9:45 where contractions were so painful I could not walk to the doors of the hospital and I then proceeded to throw up in the parking lot, and lets just say I could not control some other functions at that time as well. A very embarrassing way to go into my night, as I was whisked into the hospital by wheelchair. Part of me wished I was delirious so that could be my excuse for my current state, that I just had no idea what was going on, of course I did know, and then I apologized again and again to my sweet nurse because I did know what had happened…and it was no es bueno. So the first part of my night was pretty awful because I was laboring with horrible sickness going on at the same time. At 1:20am my water broke and I was finally admitted to the hospital. I loved my epidural, and I loved my nurse, Jackie. Not necessarily in that order. But, maybe…but I really was so thankful for the care I received while I was there. 

Rowan was born very quickly, and he was quite the little sweetie, little being the key word. He seemed so much smaller than my other boys though he really was only a pound under what Josh was. They let me hold him when I first had him, but then explained that he was having some trouble breathing and would have to go to the NICU. The NICU staff was awesome, as was the doctor overseeing Rowan. I appreciated his straightforwardness, and his dedication. He had to go on what is called a CPAP machine to help his lungs, they did have to suck some fluids out of his lungs as well. But, he was a champ, and with every change they made from taking him off of everything he continued to do awesome. I had to stay an extra night, but we all got to go home together. 

In the meantime, my mom… I can't even describe the thanks I have for her. When I called her to say I was being admitted to the hospital, she said "what are we going to do?" And I didn't really think there was much we could do, she would come out when she had her ticket booked to come out, and that was it. Instead, she spent her morning getting her work off so she could drive out and stay with us for this first week of Rowan's life. She is so incredible, and I could not have been happier when she told me. 

It was not an easy week, though it could have been so much harder. Kaj is still adjusting, and his attitude change in showing that. I think it was very hard to understand all that is going on, as well as what went on when I was gone for days and days. He doesn't know quite how to express himself, and instead he becomes quite defiant. But, he does ask a lot about Rowan, which he usually says: "Morrow" the first time, and then when you say "Rowan" he says his name right. He asks about the baby. He isn't ready to be around him much, but he asks, and then whispers that you need to be quiet. Josh is a lot more curious, and will go right up to him, and say "This?" It will all end up being fun. But, for the next days and weeks I have no expectation. The bar is neither low nor high, it is just taking things as they come. I hope that will help roll with everything, as everyone is adjusting.

But, as for the newest little sweetie. I absolutely love him! I am so excited to have him here with us, and think that he is going to be such a great addition to our family. 

Another Year Has Gone By

Just wanted to say a few things to close out the year. I love my boys, despite how crazy they can be, I really do love them. I know this is the time for people to think about their resolutions. I have thought about mine. I do think the beginning of the year is a good time to think and do things that you want to do differently, however, I also realize that any time is a good time to make positive changes. I have a few things on my list. I used to have a very extensive list, 10 plus resolutions, most of which I would forget about half way down, or just focus on the the first few, or maybe fail at all of them…which is why I only have a few goals on my list this year. I would really hope that I could accomplish that. 

Some funny Kaj sayings as of right now are: "Are you kidding me?"

He says this following most things right now. 

Example: 

Me: Kaj you need to finish your dinner

Kaj: Are you kidding me, mom?

Me: No, I'm not kidding you.

I know that he got this from me. And the more he has been repeating things the more I realize I need to watch what I am saying. This is not to say that I feel like I am shooting off at the mouth, or dropping expletives all the time, it is just a good reminder that these kids are paying attention. 

Josh is saying more and more words. He is super fun to be with. It is easy to see that he loves taking pictures, and says "cheese" and smiles at the camera with no coaxing whatsoever! Which is very different from Kaj. Josh also loves reading books. He especially loves "The Pigeon Wants a Puppy." He still does funny little dances, and runs around like crazy with his brother, he eats like a champ, and makes me such a happy mom, because again, no coaxing needed, he will eat broccoli, chicken, pesto pasta-he tried everything and likes most everything. 

I have am counting down the last weeks before we welcome, yet, another boy Christensen into our home. I have to admit this pregnancy has not been that great, and my attitude has suffered because of it. This is the part I do not like to see in myself, because for the most part I really try to stay positive. I will not go into the nitty gritty( your welcome), but there are not many symptoms I have not felt, and even better that are still going on. So I am just so ready to meet the little guy, and be done with all the sickness.

I am also very thankful for Sam. He works so hard for our family. Everything that we have, it is because Sam is working hard. I know I don't thank him enough, but I do recognize it so much of the time. He has been very sweet, helpful, and patient with me and the boys while I have not felt well, and it has been great to know I have his support. He is liking his job, and the doctor he works for more and more, and I know he also appreciates being able to learn for the doctor, as well. Sam speaks very highly of the skill he has, as well as the way he is handling building up his practice, and I know this makes his job more enjoyable, just because he is able to learn that much more. 

So yes, it has been a good year, it has been an emotional year, there has been a lot of changes, and challenges, but I feel like I have grown from those things, and even been able to understand and appreciate more the people in my life who truly love me and my whole family without any conditions. I am excited for 2014, but I hope to live more in the present this year, without thinking too much about the past or the future, and just enjoy the moments I have right in front of me. 

The Cold is Here

We are currently sitting at temperatures of -20 degrees…My feelings on the matter are: I am very happy that we have a warm house, and I tend to then take really hot showers. Because with it being that cold outside it only makes sense to turn that water up to just about scalding. Now, they say it like this:  "it's negative 20 degrees out with the windchill." and I guess the "wind chill" part needs to be stated, because they are saying, " oh hey guys, without the windchill it wouldn't be that cold…" maybe -10. I am no meteorologist per say, but my point is, it is still really really cold. 

Needless to say the snow has reminded me of Utah. It reminds of driving in Utah snow, and so far it is still powdery and as awesome as ever. However, they do not plow the roads here. I am not saying that sarcastically either, I mean that they really don't plow the streets here…at all. In Utah if a storm hits like clock work you can count on the roads getting paved right away in preparation for morning commuters. Here they throw down some gravel on some of the main roads, and then send you telepathic hugs and good luck wishes as you drive. It really hasn't been that bad yet even with a couple days of big storms. 

We are officially decorated as of today also. I did a lot of the decorating last weekend, but we got our tree today. Sam and I went back and forth a lot this year when it came to the tree. Fake or real? Getting a pass to pick one out ourselves? Or do we just get a lovely pre lit Christmas tree? Or just go pick out a tree at a tree farm? We went with the last choice. It was me who really wanted to go chop down our tree this year, just to start a tradition with the boys. Sam reminded me our kids are 3 and 1, and in a couple years it will be awesome, but it doesn't make a lot of sense right now. Which is totally true. It also didn't come up that I am also 32 weeks pregnant, and really? You want to hike around and look for a tree? But, he didn't say anything like that. Ha! Though I guess it was a weird desire for me to have at this point. I am happy we went with the real tree, it smells so wonderful in our house now!  A nostalgic Christmas tree smell that is filling every room in the house reminding me of childhood Christmases. Hmmm..I love it. We also have almost all of our Christmas shopping done, and now we can just enjoy the rest of the season.

Thankful

And, of course, I have to write a blog for Thanksgiving. I am quickly switching gears from putting crazy boys down for bed, and then trying to adjust my mood accordingly. I have also been missing this blog. It doesn't bother me if there are few readers, it wouldn't bother me if there were no readers, I truly love writing here. I was flipping through my first blog to book as I have been prepping for blog book numero dos, and I am so happy that I have written in the details of the experiences as I have. If I hadn't we would be losing a lot of very funny and fond memories.

We were invited by some ward members for Thanksgiving a couple weeks ago. We were one of 4 families, and it was very nice to have somewhere to go. Because, if we hadn't...I really am not sure if I would have made the Thanksgiving meal myself this year. The guilt would have set in and I probably would have...but I may not have been happy about it. The company was enjoyable, and this was Sam's first real chance to get to know some of the men in the ward, and though he may grumble at times, everyone always loves his company and he usually enjoys getting to know other people. I am thankful for this particular friend who invited us over. It hasn't been easy here as far as friends go, and though everyone has been polite it has not had the same feeling of acceptance, and welcomeness as New York had so automatically. ( I don't want to compare too much, but in this case it was a distinct difference) But, this friend was the first one to really reach out, and I appreciate it so much. So with that said, I am thankful for beginnings of new friendships. And on the same note, I am also very thankful for the friends in New York that I still smile about, and laugh when I remember certain things, and just plain adore. I also am grateful for the friends back in Utah the ones I have known for many many moons, despite distance they reach out just to see how I am doing, and some days it has come at the perfect time. 

I am so grateful for my family. Sisters. I have been far more emotional in this pregnancy, and it far exceeds my already sensitive state. It has been nice to rely on family. My mom came out and visited us recently, and it was honestly so much fun to see her, and hang out while she was here. My boys ran to her, and gave her the biggest welcoming hugs, and they loved being with MorMor. She is a very easy and fun guest. It was great to have her spend one on one time with the boys. And, though Kaj can't express how much it means, the many times he asked "Where'd MorMor go?" or "I want to go to MorMor's house." after she left- that says it all. I really am thankful for everything my mom has taught me and continues to teach me. I have a friendship with her that I really never thought possible...and I am certain she would say the same! Haha! I have also decided that a perk from living far away is that when you have people visit you, there is only quality time to spend. You love being together because it is for a shorter time, and it really is so enjoyable. So I look forward to visitors to have time with just them. (That being said I would still take anyone who wants to move here too)

I am thankful for our little growing family. I am thankful for Sam. He really does so much. And I am now understanding that most everything he does it is for me and the boys. He works very hard, and wants to work even harder. He loves our boys, and he is often thinking of ways to improve himself so that he can be a better and better example to them.  I also have to say I have seen the difference in him as a husband as well lately, and I am so grateful for the efforts he is making to be more expressive to me. I am thankful for the home we have now. I thankful for food on our table. And of course, I so thankful for a growing relationship with my Father in Heaven. I had the opportunity to talk in church, and I usually would not say "opportunity," because it actually scares the poop out of me, but I spent a lot of time preparing, a lot of time praying about the topic, and I can honestly say I gained a stronger testimony, and for once, I delivered my talk well. That is unheard of! I am thankful for the simple reminders it gave me, and really look forward to the chance to serve others in any way I can.