Christmas 2020

Oh! Christmas time this year..it was good. It felt a little difficult to get into the Christmas spirit-for me. I did my best for the kids though. We had our Johnny the Elf moving around during the day and night, and it turned quite fun because of the little kids-even Lily was on the look out for Johnny. I also tried to incorporate some fun homeschool Christmas activities..we did a candy cane experiment, built the shelf for the elf with gumdrops and toothpicks- oh, how I am trying! 😂💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ I have enjoyed the school break as much as my kids have I am sure. Shall we talk about the homeschooling now that I am on the subject? Yes, yes, we shall. I feel like it really is going just about as well as I thought. The boys are very used to the schedule, and I don't hear much complaining. Jonah actually really loves it, and the push back I get is actually from Josh. 🤨 Which is so weird considering he has been the dream child in all of his classes. I guess it just goes to show you really can let yourself be your worst self when you are home..which...every one is like that so I shouldn't be so disappointed. Rowan, I feel like he is doing the best and better than he would be doing at school. I feel I have caught him in math, he is reading really well, he has about 60 sight words that he knows, and he is understanding things very well. I feel even proud of my efforts with him. I should be feeling proud about all my efforts, but we are still talking about me here. 

We had a good Christmas. So very lazy, but isn't that what can be enjoyable about the day. Christmas Eve we spent with some friends. We tried our hand at a nativity play done by the kids, maybe next year I will just have them act it out, and plan, because it was a hot mess. Mary rode in on one of our bouncing cows which was hilarious. Christmas morning I heard some noises- and I thought "no, not yet, my kids can't be up already-it feels like the middle of the night." Looked at my clock. Oh! It was the middle of the night. 2:10 am to be exact. I follow the noise downstairs. Josh- "emptying the dishes." 😂 He cracks me up! I told him the time. "But, I just wanted to do my job!" He says. "Nope, it doesn't work like that..Its 2 o clock in the morning." "But, I was just doing my job" he says again. The fool he thinks I am! But props for trying to sell that. He then came to our room at 4, and then we got up at 6:30. It was fun. We got the all the kids scooters this year, and I am actually very happy about the decision because they have so much fun riding them and they are super transferrable. I don't know why it took us so long to get them. 

 In other news Lily thinks she is a big girl, and wants to use the potty. None of the boys were this little, and she is quite insistent upon it. She removes her clothes, and he diaper until you have no choice but to put her on the toilet. Where you watch her sit there for a very long time, use all the toilet paper left on the roll, and she repeats "potty" to you or "poop" over and over again until your head is in your hand as you shake your head. So, what I am concluding is that I would rather potty train a slightly older kid. 3 was a good age. She has actually gone several times, but still. 

This is the new year now, and though I didn't set as many goals as I have in previous years, I was very intentional about the ones I did choose and wanted them all to be very realistic. And, the latest thing I decided for the new year is I am going to be studying joy. I want to find more of that this year. 🤞🏻

Doug and Elaine

Something this year that I can't soon forget is the loss of Doug and Elaine Blackhurst. My mom called me on the afternoon of July 3rd and said that she just wanted to let me know that Doug and Elaine had died in a plane crash. They had gone on a little plane for fun to kickoff the fourth of July weekend, and the most tender thing was that they called my parents on the plane to let them know that they were going over their house, and that they were waving. Doug and Elaine were kind of a staple in all of our lives. They had always been around and and we always thought they would continue to be. I couldn't believe my ears after hearing the news and cried as soon as I got off the phone. I recall the conversations I had with my mom the following few days recalling some memories and I will remember she said of Elaine, "I always felt good about myself after being around her." Isn't that all you would want in a good friend. We still see Doug all the time singing with the Mo Tab especially this year because they haven't been singing because of Covid. I ended up writing this poem for my parents. 

Dear Friends

 

Crying and trying

To pull up

All the memories I ever saved

That included you.

Only to conclude:

Your goodness, your laughter, your presence 

Could change the mood.

In any room.

At really any time.

The world with such a loss

But, in heaven-

What a gain!

To have you

Both.

With a friendship that can remain

In tact.

In fact-

Even when my questions begin with

Why

They still end with

Hope

A testiment of how you both lived

Making it easier to cope

 

Oh, how lucky

To call you dear friends.

 

The friends you could

Laugh and cry with

Just the same

I’m so happy you came 

Into my life.

 

To put it simply

You inspired me.

As we laughed, learned

And studied

You will sing the harmony

 

 

You’ll always be

Those friends.

 

Your lives were so full

With so many plans

But I suppose now

You understand

Why.

You can see all

The people you’ve loved

The lives you have changed

You can see

The long road of goodness

You’ve been paving

We will miss you.

And never go by 

Without waving. 

 

2020 - in a nutshell

Like most this in the year of 2020-my blog this year completely fell apart to the point of non existence. How can I catch up this whole year? But, as I went through this photos of the highlights I realized - it really was not all bad. Look how much we still did!? Some things feel like a lifetime ago I must admit. Some of the pictures I can't believe they actually happened in the same year. Family vacations being one of them. We went to the coast when I felt like the world was fighting with itself so much about the Black Lives Matter. We never did go back to school. The virus has continued on throughout the year, and even though there is very high recovery rate the fear about it has taken root. The schools in Oregon did an online learning program, which I knew, right from the start, I was not going to be able to pull off. It was very stressful keeping track of all their meetings, and all the different formats on how to turn in an assignment that I made the decision to homeschool my kids. Which I truly never saw myself doing but, it did feel right. I researched a whole heckofalot for a long time. I decided on the curriculum full knowing that I was committed to the decision no matter what happened with schools. We would homeschool this year. I planned out my whole year. I got many notebooks, and planned assignments, and we stick to our play every day. The boys are used to it by now. Though- after we have our any breaks they act as 

if I may forget to start back up again. Some days I wish I would forget, but I don't forget. 

We moved. Which is another crazy thing this year. After Sam and I having the idea on our radar for probably a good year, we got home from our vacation in Utah, and we put our house on the market. I felt shocked when our house sold in 2 days! Not too shocked because the market is/was completely nuts, but I felt like, "How did this happen?!" When clearly, it has been very intentional. After all, we took pictures...we had a for sale put in our yard...we had to leave our home every time some one was coming through our home, I mean I should not have been beside myself but, there was part of me that was dragging my feet at the change. We also did not have our next location in place. That did stress me out. We thought of renting, we thought on Airbnbs, it was extremely difficult to find anything that would work, and after putting in 2 offers that were outbid-thanks to our real estate agent, who was so on the ball, she got us to walk through a house before hitting the market, and then and there we put in an offer with the stipulation to not list it, and that is how we got into our new house. Mom, Whit, and Dad came out to help us pack up, and then a month later Mom, Whit, and Meg came to help us get more settled. They are nice, 

Josh got baptized this summer, after all, and we actually had the most fun crowd. We had so much family around and it honestly was so perfect. Everyone had a great time together. We made sure we packed in a lot of fun things. Actually, a story from Josh's baptism is that the day before Josh was baptized we had heard from the primary president that we were not allowed to sing. The piano could play but there was going to be no singing allowed. (💁🏼‍♀️ I know! What a world we live in right now) The night before, as I prayed I simply asked that if it in Heavenly Father's will I would love to be able to sing at Josh's baptism. My dad and I had been practicing this beautiful song with Megan on the piano, and realized that it may not happen, but still asked. Well, that morning we got there, and I wasn't really holding my breath, Matt Weed was there representing the Bishopric and as he looked over the program he was reiterating what I knew about not being able to sing, but then as he got the musical number, he paused, and just said, "I just - I just don't know about this- I just think that it would be really special if you did this one, and as the bishopric we want you to go ahead and still sing that one." I knew Heavenly Father had answered that small prayer, and I thanked Matt and told my dad and Meg we could sing. It was such a wonderful day. 

It is not fun not knowing what it going to happen next. I am not sure when my kids will get to go to their new school and start making new friends. I don't know when we will see the rest of our family next. I don't know if people will ever be able to stop second guessing giving someone a handshake or a hug, or be able to smile at a stranger when you walk by. It's strange. I know I love my kids. I know that they are good kids. I feel so grateful Sam has work, and we have a home, and food, and clothes, and warmth, and health.  So, there is still so much to be thankful for. I also know I can do better. This is why I am here writing this. I write because I love to write. I do it because it makes me happy, and I need to start to doing those things again. So, that I can be my best self. So, it starts here. Where I can honestly and simply write my thoughts. 

Kaj's birthday trip with Sam to Missouri

 

The Corona virus -the COVID life

 Shortly after Josh's birthday actually scratch that-it was about the week before Josh's birthday the world was sent into a tail spin. We panicked. Not Bend, not Oregon, not the United States-the world. Introducing 🎺🎺 COVID- 19 - a new virus. School was cancelled, church was cancelled, and gathering in any number was cancelled.
It was odd then. (It's still odd now) It hit me most when church was cancelled. It suddenly felt like we should be taking this more seriously. I would watch the numbers daily increase.  Oregon, Utah, Idaho, New York, and Colorado. Those were the states I would eye ball.
 Toilet paper became really hard to come by. Weird, right? I recall walking through the stores in a mind set that I refused to dooms day shop. I refused to get caught up in the frenzy but my mind would teasingly remind me then why are you here? Getting toilet paper if it was there was any, getting canned food that I would likely never get on a normal occasion. No joke. I bought the most humungous size possible of canned chili. Humungous. Canned Chili. I make my own chili. Needless to say, it was a little apocalyptic.
 So, to cope, we spent many many days going to the canal and exploring the area. We found crawdads underneath the rocks and would daily check to see how many more we could
find.

 At the time we thought perhaps schools would begin again, but now know that did not happen. It was ok though, because by the time that was announced there was more than a sneaking suspicion that that is how it would be. I became my kids teacher and boy that is quite the hat I get to wear! A fancy hat that I get to wear with sweatpants and no make up. Some days are better than others, and really we are now in a groove. We have zoom meetings now. Zoom meetings for my kids. 😳
Sam has been home though. Which has been a great thing. He was only going to Portland one day a week meaning he was home every night. That is a nice feature. Another nice feature is Rowan learned to ride his pedal bike. And also for that sometimes introverted part of my personality it has been wonderful. "I'm not supposed to talk to you" rather than "I feel awkward when I talk to you" feels a lot safer. 😂

shevlin park

So to take inventory right now parks are still closed, some medical offices are starting to open up- but were closed till just this week for us, group gatherings more than 25 people are cancelled, retail has been closed, restaurants closed, schools, churches..It's a strange time and it will be interesting to see what happens. We are now in the process of planning Josh's baptism. His baptism ended up being cancelled the afternoon before it was supposed to take place. My parents and sister Megan were here, and Mary Jo and Dale had already driven about 10 hours and ended up turning around. It was a really disappointing thing to have happen, honestly. Josh was so sad, and had already been rolling with all the changes that happened quite maturely. He knew it was going to be such a small group that could attend, he knew we wouldn't even be able to have the program at the church, and he was fine with all of it, just as long as he was still getting baptized so, of course, he felt sad and disappointed. We are excited to be able to have a take 2. 

seems appropriate this was the only picture I took when family came in for Josh's "baptism" 😂