Just Josh

I have expressed again and again the character that Josh is, and the fun that he brings into our house. Sam has Tuesdays off, and most of the time I spend Tuesdays running errands that I would have to do with 3 boys, but I do them alone, or with just one of them at a time. It has been amazing! There was a Tuesday that I ran around a lot with Josh. He had a dentist appointment, and he was honestly making a mom proud moments left and right. He listened, he was cooperative, he was amazing! We went to the store afterward, and I was in for a treat. He had me run in, and he proceeded to laser all the "bad guys" which was everyone with his arm, and would run and stop suddenly in a very super hero stance, and then would yell, "Mom, this way!" as he turned down different aisles! Needless to say, it was a very exciting trip to the grocery store.

Pumpkin Patch 2014

Last year we went to the the pumpkin patch in Redmond, and had a great time, I knew then we would have to come the next year, and fast forward a year, and we did indeed go again. Ha! Have I mentioned how much I love the fall? Have I mentioned that Bend is also very beautiful in the fall. (nudges to my family members) This year was better for a couple reasons, I was not pregnant, and Kaj was in a much better mood, and he was very excited about picking out pumpkins with his brother, and really really wanted to get home to make jack o lanterns. It was pretty windy, and a little chilly, but sunny, and with pumpkins for miles how could you resist the happiness you feel in those moments. I mean I really love the fall. We went on the train, as we had done the year before, and we squished the family into one little cart, and I knew this would be the last year we would be able to do that. I thought about future roller coasters thought, and how much fun it will be going on bigger rides with my funny boys.

my sister had pony, my cousin had pony, what's wrong with that?!

Worst Mom Day to Date..with a happy ending.

I have debated for a couple weeks now to write this event down. It was one for the books, that is for certain, and that is why I have decided to document it in our family books. It is hard to believe that the fun, adorable, spunky, little Joshy flipped a switch on me this day, and put the wheels in motion for an epically bad mom day. Mom's know what I am talking about. 

One Wednesday afternoon, I met up with a few friends at a skate park, that we usually don't go to, we went for my friend's older boys, and of course, my boys never mind a change of scenery going to a different park. At this park there was a skate area, a park near by, and then about a 10 minute walk there was another skating area. My 3 girlfriends, and 12 kids in tow walked down to the lower skate park. The older boys rode around, my boys enjoyed the walk, and were very impressed with riding on the different ramps, and slides and the tricks you could do. Kaj turned and asked, "Can we ride on this too?" I told him we had left our bikes in the car, but we could get them out when we got back up to the park. I will be honest, I hoped that when we got back up to the park the boys would be satisfied just riding around that area, and we wouldn't have to walk back down. Well, we finally got back up to the park, and Kaj began asking if we could go back down to skating area. I didn't want to disappoint him, and I had told him that we could do this, so I told the girls I was just going to go down for a bit, and let them try it out. I realized they were too little to want to stay too long anyway. So, with Rowan in the jogger, and the other boys on their bikes we walked down. I took the boys to the far side of the skate park, it was less crowded, and they wouldn't be in the way of the older boys, and they could try out some of the slides that were less scary...for me. Kaj was surprisingly really brave, and really good at it- I have to say. He would walk his bike to almost the top, and it would have been the top had I not said it was scaring me, and he rode down-no problem. Josh who wants to try and do everything Kaj does tried also. He is not nearly as skilled on his little bike just on level ground let alone these steep hills of concrete, so I wouldn't let him go as high as Kaj had, and each time Josh went down I was there to catch him, which I had to do, several times. "Thanks, mama." He would tell me. This scene would have been delightful, but it did not take long for Rowan to start crying. Not just soothable, "I'm just having a moment" crying, it was the "I am ticked" crying, and the kind where as a mom I just want to put out that fire, so I told the boys we needed to go. "Why?" Kaj asked, I asked them to please notice Rowan is crying, and we had to go, "Can we come here next week?" Kaj asked. I agreed...at the time. I noticed Josh needed help getting his bike over the ledge to get back on the pathway up to the park, so I hurried over took the bike, and lifted it over, and this is what started the meltdown. He was not ok that I had done that. This is when he began the classic 2 year old tantrum, he wanted his bike, and he did not want his bike at the same time. Rowan still bawling, I told Josh we had to go, Kaj came with me when I asked. Josh sat on the floor, next to his bike, and threw a fit, of course, I hoped he would follow, of course he did not. Still within earshot, and eye shot, I turned around to try to get Josh to walk with us again, a kid had sat down next to him, seeing if he was alright. The kid was probably 12, I thanked him as I approached. "What's wrong with him?" he asked me. "Just throwing a tantrum." I told him, and as he rode away on his scooter I could hear him say, "That's really messed up." I shook my head,  like he knows what this is like. So I walked towards the path again, and again Josh sat there. Rowan had not stopped crying, I was becoming a spectacle at this point with my audience being about 15 or so-12 to 16 year old boys. I told Kaj to stay with Rowan, and I walked over to Josh picked him up, picked up his bike. I marched back over to my other kids, with a screaming Josh, and realized his shoe had fallen off, of course it did. I then tried quickly to get Rowan to calm down, and told Josh he needed to get his shoe. No. I took Josh with me, went over, put his shoe back on, and picked him back, and back over to Kaj and screaming Rowan. Now, just trying to get the heck out of there, carrying Josh under one arm, I put the bike on top to the jogger, the jogger tips over backward, Rowan begins crying more--I can't blame him for that--trying to calm my now even louder screaming baby I notice a kid staring at me, "I don't need an audience." I told him. If it is not portrayed clearly enough at this point, I was maxed out, I was beyond frustrated. Two kids crying, I quickly walk away carrying Josh in one arm, the bike in the other, and pushing the jogger. I didn't get far before I realized Josh's flip flip had fallen off again, this time I told Kaj to please go get Josh's shoe. I wait for Kaj to catch up, and walk, this when I start to hear my audience of boys starting to yell things at me, I will be honest, I did not hear most of it with everything crashing down at once, I just heard things like, "bad mom" sprinkled throughout everything they were saying. Embarrassed and mad I yelled back, I didn't swear, all I said was, "You have no idea how hard this is! Try it! You have no idea!" And, because I am still carrying all my screaming children,  I can't even walk away boldly with dignity, knowing I stood up for myself. 

 I had just gotten past view of the arena of the skate park, and I sat down, and burst into tears. I could not even believe what had just occurred. Kaj, seeing how sad I was burst into tears himself. He had, up to this point, been the glue to hold the scene together. He had done everything I had asked him to, without me having to ask twice. Now, this is the awesome view- 3 little boys bawling, and a mom crying sitting on the ground head in her hands. I had to remind myself quickly, I am the mom, I have to pull myself together, and I grabbed Kaj's hand and asked him, why he was crying. He said, "Why are you sad?" I told him those boys had said some mean things, and had said I am a bad mom. With tears in his eyes, still shaking, he just said, "I hate them." Now, he knows we don't say hate, and we don't talk like that, but in this moment, yeah I let it slide. This is when 3 of the older boys came over, and said, "I'm sorry, that kid doesn't know what he is talking about. He shouldn't have said that. He doesn't know how hard it is." And I looked up these apologetic faces, and just said, "Thank you. No you don't know." And they agreed again, "I know, we don't know how hard it is." The older of the boys then asked, "Is there anyone that can help you?" I just told them I had friends up at the park. "Thanks. You are good kids." I told them. I tried to gather myself together again, turning to Josh this time, who has been crying this whole time, to please please, just walk with me. But, he is still 2 and half, and he still doesn't understand how much I need him to do this. Then a few more of the boys have walked over one of them with obvious tears on his face, telling me he is sorry, and he doesn't know how hard it is. I forgive him, and thank them, and begin my trek up to the park, again. Josh is still crying, and lagging behind, Kaj is determined to get us help at this point, and says, "I'm going to go tell Alicia you're sad." I tell him not to worry, but as I realize Josh is still not going to listen when Kaj insists again, I tell him, "yes, go find Alicia." I am still crying as I walk, and Kaj begins telling me, "Mom, you are a good mom. You do a lot of things for us. You make breakfast for us, you make dinner for us." This made me realize how lucky I am to have such an amazing kid to stick with me, and then to try to make me feel better. A lifetime later we got back up to the park, and I just cried, and told the girls very briefly what had happened, but turned to Kaj and said, "Can we please just go home." Truly, I couldn't take it if he were to argue about staying, and he thought a moment, and said, "Yeah, mom. We can. It will be alright."Alicia walked me to the car because I was still crying and helped me with the boys as Kaj continued to explain other reasons why I was a good mom, "You make us pancakes, you are a princess mom, you do a lot of things for us." I gave Kaj hugs, and thanked him again, and again for everything he had said and done. 

"Mom, I saved you." With different tears now turning from sadness to joy that quickly, I agreed, "You did." 

So, this day was an epic one, it ended a lot better than it could have, still it hurts to remember the embarrassment, and the sting of the words, but these young boys also realized the hurtfulness, and perhaps realized they had no room to say anything at all, but at the end of the day, Kaj really did come to my rescue. He was my little hero that day, I am so happy to have him for my little boy. 

Birthday Celebrations

It was me, I had another birthday. I know how old I am, people who know me, know how old I am-I will leave it at that! Actually I really am not that bitter about it. It is weird... I tried to come up with a cute little rhyme for 31 since 30 has the "30 flirty and thriving" going for it-there is nothing like that for 31..which I am just going to have keep no working on that. We had a fun day as a family. My birthday, as per my whole life, falls around conference time, this year it fell on conference exactly so it was a very relaxing day as well. We went out and did some shopping for moi. I wanted a fall outfit for my birthday, and so Sam wearing Rowan, and pushing Kaj in the jogger because he had fallen asleep in the car, and chasing Josh around the store down at Old Mill, I got to actually pick some things out, and try them on, which I don't get to anymore. Josh kept crawling under the door of the fitting room, "Hi, mom." And then he would crawl back under to catch up with the other boys. It was pretty funny. We then picked up Papa Murphy's pizza. On the way home, we stopped by our mailbox, and there just happen to be a birthday package from Ashley and Kathy. We had some pizza, opened up my birthday package, and it included all things princess, Kaj and Josh were so excited for me to wear a crown, and to wear party hats themselves. Sam had picked up the most gigantic cake from Costco, and chowed down, Josh especially! We had a good night hanging out. It was really a sweet birthday, and Kaj was so happy for me, which is what made it so sweet. He loved telling me "happy birthday" throughout the day, he loved that I got to open a present, and sing the birthday song to me. I love my boys, and I really love being the "princess mom" (as Kaj put it) in our home.

Family Pics 2014

Well, I suppose I had it coming to me, I had picked out lovely coordinating outfits, and picked the primo spot, and got Sam on board to take family pictures with me, and the morning of, huge zito on my face-o.. but we took them anyway. The spot was still primo, and the boys were still so handsome…o, but needless to say…I am happy that we will have never shot at this family picture concept when we are in Utah in November. 

Still…so pretty. So amazingly pretty in Bend at this time of year. Oh my goodness, I truly cannot get enough of it. I am excited for more fall adventures. We will be revisiting the pumpkin patch this year, we have our fair share of apple cider already, we will be carving pumpkins, and we are counting downy the days to Halloween in our house. It has officially been a little over a year since we have been here, and oh, how much can change in a year! I love my silly little boys!

Mom of Boys Fail

The other day shopping I felt like getting my boys some superheroes, for no particular reason except, I thought it would be fun for them to have since we really don't have that many..yet. They named me ironman right away, which I have no problem with considering I really like ironman. So, for the next couple days I was always ironman. I found myself making sandwiches as ironman, driving the car with ironman at the wheel, tucking the boys in as ironman, and for Josh he wouldn't follow mom's directions, but he would listen to ironman, so I proceeded. One morning Josh came into our room in the morning he and handed me ironman. Then spiderman and ironman spark up a conversation. Josh as spiderman: hi, ironman. Ironman: Oh hi, spiderman. Spiderman: shoes. Ironman: Oh yeah! We have the same shoes!! Pause. Spiderman was looking at me, and Sam was looking at me and said: Um…superheroes don't talk about their shoes. Haha!! We laughed for a while about this, and I could hear myself saying this line over and over in my head. I have rolled with the punches when it comes to being a mom with all boys. The dirty hands, and muddy feet, the jumping off of couches and tables, playing superheroes, jumping in puddles right a long with them, but I must say this is the first time I relapsed pretty obviously that I grew up with a lot of sisters, and played only Barbies.

Milestones

It has been a busy couple of weeks, with a lot of new transitions. The biggest one, perhaps, is Kaj starting school. He is only going on Tuesday and Thursday for the morning, but it is definitely strange not having him around. I have to leave my house at 8:45, and drive him there, I am usually dressed but gross, and Josh and Rowan are in the pajamas, but at least Kaj is always dressed, hair combed, and ready to go, I walk Kaj inside-it only takes a moment, but by the time I get back Josh is in tears realizing he, once again, will not be joining Kaj at school. Kaj has told him he can go when he is 3 many times, but Josh does not want to wait till he is 3. Sweet kid. I am trying to come up with some special mom and Josh things to do while Kaj is in school so far I have: "Go get doughnuts" on the list, and "practice a letter" which with Josh's very short attention span would be over as soon as it begins, so I am looking into other ideas. Kaj really likes his teacher Miss Mindy, who is so hard no to like. She is quite amazing with the kids, and I am very excited for Kaj to have her as his teacher. He has a small class of only 8 kids, and I am just appreciating that everything about it so far. The first day I dropped him off I half expected Kaj to be apprehensive, but he was like," You will pick me up?" to which I was like: "H no!" really though, I said, "Yes, I will pick you up." And he looked back at the puzzles he was working on, and that was it. I was glad that it was so easy for him. The other thing going on with Kaj is that he will also be starting a speech group to help his articulation. I am also very happy about this for him too, after his evaluation they explained that technically he was still borderline, but the speech therapist, after talking to me about what I would like to do, was able to sign him up based on her "professional opinion." She said that Kaj is very bright, and that not being understand would start to get very frustrating to him, if he isn't already. I want him to be a lot more understood by the time he goes to kindergarten. So, now Kaj will have Tuesdays, Thursday, and Fridays where he will be gone for part of the day, and that will start in a week. 

In other news Rowan had his 9 month check up. 9 months?? I know, I know. He does not seem that old to me. He is still totally punky, and kinda lagging behind in some areas, not to the point where I worry, because I feel like he will be fine, and get there when he wants to get there. What I am talking about is crawling and sitting up. His brothers were crawling by 6 months, and Josh was full on trying to go up and down stairs, however, I am not trying to rush this little guy. He is very wiggly, and bounds toward the floor when I am holding him as if he wouldn't crash on to his face, and this is one of the reasons why I feel like when he is moving this one is going to keep me running. So, I say take your time. I have to say it- this face. I also realize how often I goo over him, but he is just a handsome little boy! He is also so a happy one. I seriously love to see him smile at everyone. He has this adorable smirky, squinty eyed, two teeth thing really working for him. 

And, of course, the latest with Josh, he..uh started making hats.. for his guys..out of play dough, and he is really excited about the prospects of this, obviously. Yeah, so basically the boys were playing with the play dough, and Josh suddenly exclaimed "Hats, momma!" And, of course, there were hats in many different shapes and sizes for his guys. Haha! So as usual, Josh is hilarious! I know that I am extremely biased, but he is such a cool kid. He makes every day fun for everyone. Life without Josh would be lacking so much. He is a smile. So, all in all, everything is good with our family. There have been some unexpected things going on with our house- like our garage broke, and the lights were buzzing, and our landlord isn't too awesome, but two-thirds of those things have been resolved, and everything else will work out, and be just fine. 

I am one lucky mom.