Our Rowan Bears

It's been a little over a month since we got an official diagnosis for Rowan. For a long time I did not think it was even necessary to go through the process because to me Rowan was just a quirky, sweet little almost 3 year old. (Which he still is all of those things only he is now 3) It was after beginning speech sessions, and reading more about his speech pattern, which is called echolalia, that I finally decided to proceed with the clinic here that would diagnosis him if there was anything. He was put on the autism spectrum at a level 1. Level 1 has more to do with language and some social differences. It didn't come as a shock, I had taken notice of enough social things and of course, language, being the biggest and most obvious. I had also been reading, and whenever I read anything about mild autism it sounded like our Rowan bears. I was fine learning this because I felt prepared for it, but with that being said, there are still things I am trying to figure out how to navigate: Talking to others about Rowan, especially. I don't want to feel like I am labeling him, I sometimes don't want him to be treated any differently, wondering what will help or hurt him, and wondering what is necessary.
There are hard days. There are even harder realizations sometimes. Noticing how at social gathering with a lot kids Rowan will spend his time alone, in classes he is not sitting with kids his age, but sitting with the teacher. There have been a lot of supportive conversations from family and friends. After the appointment that day he was diagnosed I talked to my mom. I don't think I will ever forget her words, "I think the most advantageous thing Rowan has going for him is your family." A lot of encouragement a long these lines have come from sisters and close friends. It does help to hear.
We had gone to a BBQ and it was there that when Sam and I talked afterward we both noticed how Rowan spend the whole time by himself. I decided to talk to older boys the next morning. I told them that even though Rowan looks the same as everyone else he learns differently, and he is special, and we know that. They were very surprised to learn he was by himself that whole time. Josh sweetly told me,"I asked Rowan to come and jump with me, but he didn't want too." It's that they are trying. That counts for a lot. Later that day I overheard the boys as they took Rowan's hands that they were going to play with Rowan "because we're his only friends." Friends can come along later, and friends come and go anyway, so to have his brothers be his friends is the best it can be. They are so lucky to have each other. I think there will be  lot of teaching moments, and may help the boys learn empathy in a very real way. I know they love him, and will always care for him.
Rowan is sweet. He is lovable, he is quick to give a smile, happy most of the time. He loves playing in the water, building with magnets, listening to, "We will Rock You," watching Elmo, and loves his guys. (this includes doggy, goofy, a pillow, elmo, and cookie monster.) I love Rowan. My heart breaks some times for him, and he is always at the forefront of my mind, and I am excited to hear all his has to say one day. I am thankful that he is in our family, and thankful to be his mom.

Family Firsts: Part 2: Trip to the Coast

Sam was able to take 2 weeks off in May and we decided we needed to take advantage of that time. We planned our first trip as a family to the Coast. We headed down to Newport and would stay a few days. 

Even thinking back on the trip now I think so fondly of it. What was is about this trip?? Perhaps this was one of the first trips that I felt like Jonah was old enough that I didn't feel confined to nursing him the whole trip long, or the ambiance of the ocean- the excitement and joy on my boy's faces when they were playing at the beach- it was a delight. We loved that trip. 

It was strange driving into town we came up over a hill and suddenly it was as if you could drive into the ocean - if, of course, you wanted to drive into the ocean. In this case, we didn't. There was a sign as we were locating our hotel that read: If you pass this point you are in the Tsunami Zone. Craazy! The boys were sweet right as the trip began and they thanked us for bringing them to the beach before we had even gone. Our first hotel was not so good. The people were friendly enough... probably because they were high on drugs! Truly though, it was a drug hot spot. They looked like they spent their days and nights using meth and we did not like the looks of the shady folks. It was the kind of place where I didn't really want my kids to touch anything, and you shower with your shoes on. Unfortunately we arrived too late in the day to make any changes that night so we made the best of it. We made mac n cheese for the boys and soon enough they were fast asleep. We changed hotels for the next couple nights. 

The next morning we got to the Aquarium as it was opening. The weather was perfect, and the boys were so excited. It was pretty cool. A lot of the exhibits were outside and you walked around big rocks to see the animals. The boys did not complain while we were there, and Jonah was a great baby and a good kick off to the vacation. 

 Later we hit one of the beaches. I had forgotten that these beaches, though sandy and beautiful, are cold! Luckily, Sam had thought of this, because if I had planned it out the way I had it in my mind we would not have a had jackets and they are a necessity. Despite that, the boys loved it!! They ran to the ocean as if it were an old friend.  In my mind's eye I saw Megan and I as kids doing the same thing so many years ago. When we played tag with ocean also. Rowan, who is my water boy through and through, was so in love with the ocean. He laughed and ran, and definitely did not want to leave even after he was drenched and shivering from the cold.
We hit the downtown area the next day and went to see the sea lions on the dock, and walked around.
But our trip was all about the beaches. We went to several. We went one night to fly a kite on the beach, we went again the last day before heading out of town, and it was perfect. The last one we had planned a lot better. We had dry clothes at the ready, we had them in the right clothes to start, and we stripped them down walking to the car. We spent the whole time running with the waves as a family. Me, holding Jone Jone, running back and forth with the waves. The last wave was the hail Mary to our trip. It wiped every one out if one fell swoop. In fact, Rowan, try as he did to outrun the wave fell under luckily Sam was right next to him and grabbed him the second he went in. Sam and I laughed and knew that was our cue. It was too cold there to be completely soaked. But, it was a great ending.
We plan on taking the boys again this summer. But, these memories are ones I will hold dear. I loved being with my family, and seeing how happy everyone was, and it made my own overflow.