Mister Jones turns 3

 This is the smile I love. 😍 This boy makes me so happy. But, also is the same boy that makes me feel like a crazy person. He is exciting mixture of fun, messy, tough, sweet, and is constantly making our family laugh with his shimmy dancing and his theatrical personality. He fills our house up. Sam has said before that he is "all boy." I laughed because we have 4 boys and that our 4th is the one that is considered most boy is somewhat comical but it's is kinda true. He is the more accident prone and messy, with all the rough and tumble play and more roaring around the house than I ever though possible. He is the only boy he has drawn all over walls and floors multiple times, and now he is sporting a jagged scar on his face. Which if I am being honest, I am still so heart broken over this one 💔(I am hoping it will fade quite a bit over time --because seriously that sweet face)  Jonah is sweet. He is tender hearted you may have to peel off a layer or two of his tough side but it is there. I have seen it more and more especially with Lily. He plays with her, he worries when she is crying, he gets excited to hold her, he is going to be such a great brother to her I just know it.
Jonah's birthday was on a Sunday so we spent it as a family. We played together, we had cake and ice cream- which Jonah has a major sweet tooth so he was very happy about that, and he enjoyed opening his presents which were all Toy Story themed.
Jonah has some challenges with his speech. Nothing to the degree our family already understand all too well, but he is currently going to speech and we hope and pray that he will learn quickly. We practice every day and he is always happy to do his words. He learns quickly and has always been very good at imitating. He loves high fives, laughing, and tickles. He loves playing with his brothers. He likes building with blocks, playing with little guys, and dinosaurs. I have a feeling Jonah will continue to throw curve balls but I also have no doubt that life is so much more amazing because of him.

Post Vacation blues?

 I have summer to catch up on. But, today, I needed to write it  out.

I cried into my ice-cream today. I actually have never done that, but I can't think of a more pathetic scene than that. Ice cream is supposed to be one the happier things to consume, right? Summer days and ice cream. It's a happy thing, and there I was in the front yard actually crying into my ice-cream. I am not going to go into the whys. Not now. But, I have always said I write this blog for my kids. I write my blogs up and turn them into books for my kids so they could know the real. The good and the bad. They already have seen me at my worse and still love me. They are getting old enough to recognize there are good and bad days and not to expect every day to be magical. I would want to offer that to them, but that isn't life.

Today I know that I love my kids. I know that my boys are good, and that they are nice to me. I know that even if Lily cries and cries a whole lot when I look into her eyes I love her. I love her a lot. I know that this stuff does matter. I know there are better days out there and that I will have them. But, for today, that is it.

Lily's Blessing day

 We finally blessed Lily. She's 5 months old so it is a little later than most would bless their baby but a couple of things that were nice was you could see her sweet little face in pictures and she was totally content and quiet during the whole blessing which has not been our experience in the past.
What was also very nice was it ended up being on the same weekend Megan and her family were up here on vacation so we had family in town for it which just makes it feel so much more special because it is the kind of support we love to have especially for these kinds of occasions.

The blessing itself was wonderful and I was able to write down a few things so that she will one day be able to know what was said in her baby blessing.

First, Sam told her that our Father in Heaven loves her. He blessed her with the desire to know the Savior and seek the Hold Ghost. That if she does that she will be protected and led throughout her life. He blessed her that she would build a relationship with Heavenly Father. He said she would be a light to her family and everyone around her, that she would be full of love, and a positive force in our world. He blessed her that she would develop her own testimony and she she would find someone worthy to be married in the temple and raise her family to the Lord--all great things. So, it was a beautiful blessing.
 Also, quite rare Sam and I both got up to bare our testimonies. I am so nervous with public speaking I seriously could count on one hand how many times I have gotten up in a fast and testimony meeting.

Sam went to the temple the Friday before blessing her and he told me that he could sense Grandma Mariana there as well as "a crowd." And told me "they are very interested in what is going on." I loved that he had this experience. I had felt Grandma many times while I was pregnant with her and just knew that the two of them had a relationship before she came to us.

We sure do love our girl. And she is nothing but loved in our home. My boys adore her. They were playing some random game in the car the other day and Kaj would announce, "and the winner is...LILY!!" each time. The winner was Lily. I couldn't help but laugh because she was also the only one who not participating at all and yet she would win. I have a feeling this will the case for a while.

She has the sweetest little face is starting to laugh, wiggle, and smile a lot more. I can tell her wants to be on the move right along with her brothers.

Last of School

 Wow! This year went by really fast! I think partly because for a lot of it I was pregnant and then had a new baby. So, it just flew!

I am happy it's finally summer and the boys are too. They both did really well this year and they both had wonderful teachers that were perfect for their personalities.

Sam was able to join Kaj in his last field trip at the park and I was able to go to the BBQ they had on the last day of school and join Josh.

It was a madhouse of a day because of how much running around I had to do, but it worked out.
I was really happy that both boys had a good friends this year. They both seemed to have made  some good friendships and we will just have to plan a few things this summers with those little buddies. But, it also really nice that they also just have each other. I am sure there will come summers that they will only want to be with their friends and for now I am happy that being with each other is more important.

I admit to being a little scared to have everyone home, but it turns out, it is really great. I love not having to run out the door in the morning, I love having our mornings where we have been pretty consistent with scripture study, work book time, and followed by their own reading. These boys are seriously the greatest. They can drive me so nuts, but they come through when I really need them, and that's what matters.

Mrs. Camren really loved having Kaj in her class. They seemed to have a really good rapport and I think Kaj responded really well to her. She was encouraging and loved seeing him happy. Kaj really did well in so many areas and I have always been so impressed on how easily he picks up on different concepts. 

Saying Mrs. Gautchi loved Josh is a bit of understatement. She has said the kindest things about Josh all year long. That Josh is the kind of student that makes her want to be a better teacher, that he is force for good in this world, that she was honored to be his teacher.  Which, is, of course, is amazing to hear as parents! He really did so great in every area, and always showed kindness to everyone around him. 

I am so proud of both of them. 

Little Goodbyes

Little Goodbyes is also the title to a Shedaisy song for those of you who want to add a little nostalgia to your day. But, the goodbyes I am talking about are Rowan's goodbyes to some special ladies in his life.

Last week he had his last day at preschool with the same ladies he has had for the last 2 years. They knew him last year when he spent the whole year talking in only whispers and wore a had every single day. They have now witnessed how explosive his language has become, how is starting to socialize more, and get to see how smart he is. He had Miss Sherry who spent half the year on a scooter because she had a surgery on her foot and she was smiling still every day. Miss Shannon takes care of her mother who is quite sick and same thing, smiling, every day. And Miss Jeanie.. oh Miss Jeanie... she was there in all important meetings, and has been there to praise and love him. These ladies are wonderful at what they do and we feel so lucky to have had them a part of his life.

We also said goodbye to Stephanie. Stephanie was Rowan's speech therapist for the last 2 and a half years. I feel a special gratitude to her especially because she was the person I trusted when she gently encouraged us to get Rowan evaluated further. I have shed tears with her on more than one occasion during frustrations with meetings, navigating hours of ABA that would take Rowan away for such a long time during the week and simply just coping with the emotions of Rowan's diagnosis, She has pep talked me, and reminded me that I am the expert on what's best for him.

What was the sweetest was as we were leaving Rowans gave Stephanie a sweet hug, and said, "stay happy, ok?" And when he realized she was still crying he turned around to give her a second hug which just touched her so much that he would try again to make her feel better. Then reminded her again to: stay happy. I think that is the soundest advice a person can ever give and receive. I love Rowan. I am so thankful for the many people who have loved his and pushed him to make sure that he reaches his highest potential.

Rowan's going to be in Kindergarten

 I had a transition meeting for Rowan... actually today- or an IEP meeting. It was meeting with the Buckingham team but also included some of the people who have worked close with him in preschool. I was told to create a "Rowan brochure." I was very glad that I did. I printed enough for everyone who attended by happenstance, and they were all very happy to have the information. Everyone went around the room to introduce themselves and they turned the time over to me, which if I hadn't had my Rowan brochure I am not sure I would have known where to start.

It was a good meeting. Everyone who was there seemed kind and interested and eager to create the best plan for Rowan.
Sometimes when I think of him I wonder why was he sent to Earth with these challenges? Why were these challenges a part of the plan for him. I think of the injustice of it all when I ask why him? But, usually immediately following I think that it was not injustice but mercy.

 There is a team for Rowan. There a many teams for Rowan. A group of people that come together to achieve a common goal. (Uh..yes I used to actual dictionary verbiage) But, what else goes on on a team? Cheering and excitement and rooting.  All for Rowan's success. Pretty lucky actually.

I got to sit in a roomful of people- some who already know and love him and others excited to meet him. But all to create a tailored, customized education plan for him just to see him succeed.

I haven't had a good update about Rowan in a little while, but I am over the moon excited about the progress I have seen him make in just one year. I have full on conversations with him! When I say something to him he answers me the right way. An example is he came over and asked if he could watch Frozen (which he loves right now) And I said yes that he can turn it on.
"I don't know how to turn it on." 🤗 Just that. That's huge! (I, of course, then helped him to turn it on) Another funny but amazing thing when we were trying to get out the door to go to church the other day I said, "Rowan we need to get going to church."
"But,  I don't want to go."Rowan
"But, we need to go."
"But, church is not my favorite." 😂
I laughed but said, "Well, it doesn't have to be your favorite we still have to go."
"But church is not my favorite." 😂
Me laughing again "I know, but we still have to go."
"Fine, fine." he finally gave in. For one, church is no one's favorite, buddy. But, even just him saying "fine, fine." I mean...So Huge!!

Rowan is so fun and funny, and so wonderful to be around. He is joyful and musical and smart. He has an amazing memory. He is so talented in so many ways. I have said it before and I imagine I will keep on saying it, I love being his mom. He teaches me so much and truly would not change a thing about him. 💕

Kaj turns 9 😳

My Dear Kaj bears turned 9...that's a"eek" moment for me. On his birthday this year I was doing his hair in the morning and I was looking at his face. His little boy face I can remember staring at when he was baby and now it is looking older. I can see it morphing and it's so strange. 

Kaj is complex soul. Perhaps he is starting to go through things trying to figure out who he wants to be. He can be quite serious and also really silly. He can be pessimistic at times where I consistently have to remind him how attitude matters and to be more positive and yet he can be extremely sensitive and in tune with other people's feelings. He is smart and analytical. He is always trying to find a way to do things that make the most sense and has even called out his teachers before 😳. He is easy to talk to, he is definitely a kid I get the most information from and have more conversations with. He is not afraid to try things and is adventurous. He is good at math, climbing, and creating things with legos. (that is still important) What is also important to him very very important is his bunny.. His love for that stuffed animal runs deep. 

Kaj is really interested in football right now, he has a crush on a girl named Franki, and he has made some good friends this year. His best friend is still Josh which makes my heart so happy. 

I am happy I am his mom. I hope and pray he will always be able to talk to me. I am kindof feeling like this is his last year being a boy and after he is going to start really changing into a young man. I love Kaj very much and am thankful for the things he has taught me.