Talks with Rowan

Rowan is the best, isn't he? Rowan reads all my family books now that I have printed. He looks back at all the pictures, and reads the stories, he does this any time he is looking for something to do. He has all the books out now. I haven't even bothered to put them away lately. 

I have frequent conversations with Rowan after he has said or done something he doesn't mean to one of his siblings where he will cry and be very hard on himself. He doesn't feel like he can control himself, he doesn't feel like he can control his anger. It was one of these moments in the last couple weeks where I talk to him about choosing something different  before he gets mad, or leaving the room, or coming to talk to me. We were going through a lot of the same key points we always do. A moment of silence. I felt like I needed him remind of the conversation we once had with him about Autism. 

A couple years ago, I may have even written this down, but I felt like we needed to talk tell him about his diagnosis. I don't know if it was him getting older or what clock I felt I was up against, but I just felt like we needed to have this talk. So, Rowan sat down. Sam and I told him he had Autism. That it means his brains works a bit differently, and that it is not a bad thing. He asked, "What's wrong with me?" We said nothing is wrong with him. He then said, "ok. Is that it?" And he got up and walked out of the room. 

Well, this day, when I had the feeling to tell him, I just started out reminding if he remembered that conversation. He said, no. Which checks out. We then talked about it again. We talked about how thinks differently, how his mind sees the world, how it is actually really special. We talked about his gifts like playing the piano like he does. He asked a lot of questions. He asked who knows he it in our family and in our extended family. He asked questions about when he was diagnosed and how we could tell. He asked a lot of great questions. 

Over the next couple days he brought it up around the family, he talked about it with Kaj and Josh very candidly, he would add, "I know it's not a bad thing." I emphasized that word..because I am so grateful that he knows that. He told Jonah and Lily very casually as well. Jonah had some follow up questions and said he didn't want Rowan to have that. A very honest reaction from an 8 year old. He was very sweet, and he said it in a caring way.

Since then Rowan has given me more hugs than he has in months. Hugs, instigated by Rowan. It's amazing. A couple night after he gave me a hug as we were getting ready for bed, and he said, " you're a great mom." Oh, my heart! Rowan says what he means. Always.

Today in sacrament meeting he went to take a second cup of the water, I kinda looked at him, and whispered, "Did you already have one?" He stopped himself from taking the second one very hesitantly. 

"Well, I'm thirsty." 

I love Rowan so much!

 

The Best Dog Award

Josh put this award on Rudy one morning before he left for the day. When I saw Rudy the first time that day this is what he looked like. I let him wear it all day, because it's hilarious.

I have never posted about the dog before, and my kids really like it when I admit to liking Rudy. The truth is..I really do like Rudy..a lot. 

He is is really really good dog. He is a good listener. He loves the kids, he has endless patience, he is happy boy. 

I am very happy we have Rudy. 

I want my kids to read this. 

I am very happy we have Rudy. 

 

Spring Break 2024

 

Spring break this year was one for the books. It was absolutely one of my kids favorite times. We decided if our spring break lined up with any of my sisters we would make plans. And, plans were made. We went to Moab! It lined up with Caitlin's family. The kids had SO much fun with their cousins. We went on hikes in Arches, we swam in the pool, we played games at the house, we played at the park, and there wasn't not a moment of contention. They got a long perfectly. 

We did have a sister-mom day when we got back into town and we did the  Plunj. Sisu was written on the wall, and when my mom decided she neither wanted to be that hot or cold, we decided maybe the tattoo on her wrist wasn't quite as fitting as she thought! And we laughed and we laughed. I also will tell you how this works. You first get in the sauna, then you take your first plunge in cold cold water, when you get out you warm up on your own, and then back in the sauna. Now, I was celebrating the victory of this. I felt great, felt super strong that I had made it through, and as I did this my sisters seemed pretty confused, and then proceeded to announce that we do it all again. 

Claire teaching Lily gymnastics

Family pic Lily loves it

"the only brother" picture

Kaj turns 14

Writing when Kaj is closer to 15 now, and I feeling a little sheepish about it. How did I get this far behind? How did I not make this more of a priority. I've been slipping, I guess. Lucky for me, Kaj is still the same great kid that he was 6 months ago. (so, I guess it's just half a year later not more than that phew) 

What hasn't changed. Kaj is a "man" he likes to remind us of this pretty often. ha! Even though he may be on his way to becoming a man he still is my boy. He is "Kaj Bears" in my phone. I remember when I was adding him to my phone and he tried to to persuade me not to put him in as that I reminded him that he was always going to be Kaj bears to me, no matter how old he gets. He does sound like a man, and it is a very manly sounding for any man, so there is that. Kaj is very good hearted. He impressed all adults he interacts with time and time again, because he has actual conversations. He asks people questions, he remembers details about what is going on, and he is very polite, and interested. He is forgiving. He is a good brother. He is always willing to put aside his needs for others. Kaj still love Jai Wolf, and continues to make his own music. 

Kaj is taller than me. Maybe he was taller than me last year? But, I am not sure, it actually feels like he has now been taller than me for a long time. Kaj is making new friends all the time at OFS and his cross country. Kaj has a very strong testimony, and strong desire to follow what he believes is right. 

I am thankful for Kaj. I am thankful for the kid he was, and the kid/man that he is now. He has been patient with me, and he sees the best in me even when I don't see it myself. He has a lot he is juggling right now, and I am impressed with all he is able to do. Happy Birthday Kaj Bears. 

 

Maui Trip

We really did go to Maui. It sometimes feels like a dream. But, I really am so happy I was able to go with Sam. This was the first trip we had taken in 15 years. We have not gotten away together. I was stressed before we left, for a many reasons. A few days before we flew out I told Sam, " what we both die on the place." I know.. a little much. A fear, that I actually don't have. His response was, "yeah, I think about that all the time." ...Huh? This was so helpful, and with that discussion we switched our flight to flying out of Redmond and not Portland. 

But, I also really wondered how it would be traveling with Sam. I felt odd even thinking about it, and then realized, we had never really travelled together just him and I before. 

We got there when it was dark. We couldn't tell if we were actually on an island, maybe I would wake up in the morning and it was just staged. But, I woke up in the morning, and heard the ocean and sat out on a balcony and watched the whales from a distance. It was pretty dreamy. It was then I realized I love whales. 

We went to Costco on the first day to stock out little kitchen, because we were staying in a condo. We went to snorkel Bob's to get the low down on where to snorkel and learned about the Snorkel Report, which we used religiously the rest of the time being there. 

I had done a lot of research before we went on the trip on what we had to do when visiting Maui. The road to Hana came up many times. It seemed there was a right and wrong way to do Hana, and the right way was waking up pretty early to start driving, and hitting only the highlights. Sam, didn't know any of this, but we decided to take a day to do the Road to 

Hana. It is known for having the most turns along any road in the US. (something like that) First of all, I was getting a little carsick at first, and there was a lady throwing up off the side of the road, and I felt I was very close to being that lady. I also realized that Sam is very good driver. If there even is such a thing, but he was able to manage the thin road, tight turns, and making sure we don't die. We saw the black Sand beach, we went to the Pipiwai forrest, and we stopped at the Bruddah Huts to eat. It was....so bad. Ha! The review said "the best food they had ever eaten in my life" that's a pretty bold statement. Decidedly, this person may have never eaten out before anywhere else. But, it was bad. It was a really cool day. We were glad we ended up going because we still don't know if we would take our kids if we were to go back

The other thing that we did that we wouldn't have done with kids is see the sunrise on Haleakala. Again, a very early morning. They let 50 cars in at a time, which is a surprising amount of people. But, we were above the clouds on this ancient volcano that went from the sea level, and proceeded to watch the sunrise. It was very chilly, but also a great experience. I do admit...the Eric Carmen song: "Sunrise" was in my head that whole time. Sam didn't know that song so it fell flat when I sang it to him. I did remedy that later on the trip.

 

We saw Little Jerry everywhere in Hawaii. I obviously had to make the joke every time we saw him, and I never got sick on the sightings. 

We had a few very good meals, the Miso Phatt sushi, was great. It had a huge line, and the freshest fish. It was within walking distance from our airbnb, so we enjoyed walking to and from. 

We went on a run all but two of the mornings, which was actually great. It felt really good to be running, along the beach sides, and that freedom that a vacation brings. 

Haleakala 

whale bones

black sand beach

this funny hotdog we sent to the kids

Nonna's pie shop pies 

 

Joshy turns 12

This favorite guy turned 12 this year. This one felt like he was already 12 leading up to his birthday, which usually I don't like to admit. I will admit this, this birthday celebrating was perhaps one of my favorites. We had asked Josh what things he would like to do for his birthday. He just wanted to go play football and Pine Nursery, Great! I then asked if he wanted to invite any friends, and he thought about it and named a few buddies. His birthday landed on a Monday so I told Josh the Friday before to let his friends know, I didn't put limit on the amount of friends, I just thought he could extend, and then hope for the best. I don't have all his mom's friends numbers anymore, so on his birthday, the ones I did have I just sent out a brief text saying we would love to have them join us to play football. They were all very excited to come celebrate with us. I picked up some mini cakes... ok cupcakes...from Nothing Bundt Cakes to bring, as well as water bottles. We picked up one of his friends and the rest were at the park. 

Megan, Pierce's mom, was there, and we were able to chat for a bit. There were 6 friends that came. They started with a game of football, but much to my surprise that really wasn't the game that took off. They switched to kickball. The family ended up joining them, I even had a turn kicking the ball, and getting out because they caught each one. It was when it was Lily's turn that it struck me. She kicked the ball, it didn't go very far, but all Josh's friends proceeded to fall down, and trip, and fumble over the ball, unable to get to it, allowing her to make a home run, at they all cheered her on, and then gave her high fives at the end. 🤯 I know. I know! These were the absolute nicest group of 11-12 year old boys that I have come across. I felt so thankful for the friends that Josh has around him. He is one of among such sweet, kind, and polite boys. Of course, mother that I am, wants to credit Josh. 😏 I do think he has a lot to do with it, because I know that he sets the tone around here, and has always been a positive influence around others. Josh, continues to be so awesome in so many ways. I hope that we always have a close relationship. Josh loves football, Rubik's cubes, puzzles, learning, math, and being with his friends and family. His favorite foods are burritos. 

 

Lily's Golden Birthday

I don't think anything can be any lovelier than Lily. She is such a beauty inside and out. She is fiery and stubborn, but also sweet and helpful. She is silly and fun, but also smart and thoughtful. Now, she is 5 years old now, and it just about rips me into pieces that my actual baby is that old now. Lily remembers everything! She will not let you forget about what you said, but she also can remember so many facts after reading a book even once. I love that she has her own opinions and is not afraid of being who she is. I want her always to stay that confident, that would be my dream for her. 

Some recent funny stories about Lily. I was changing in my closet, and she was waiting for me to come do her hair, but I handed her my phone so she can listen to music, suddenly she appears in my bathroom with my phone, "say cheese!" she announces as I am standing there with only a top on and naked from the waist down. I start saying, "no, no, no," as one would do in this situation, and she walks away. She told me she hadn't taken a picture. 

Right after that, we were going through pictures and we came across one of Sam and I in our snorkel gear, and she says "and there you are with your blowholes." Huh? 😂 I said. "oh, our snorkels?" and I then ask her to repeat what she had said, because it was hilarious. 

The next day, I am picking her up from school, and Miss Mindy says, "Hey, did Sam tell you the story about the speedos?" Interest, quite piqued, I replied, he had not. She then says. "Well, Lily asked me if I knew what a speedo was. I told her, yes. She said, well, my dad has one. Oh?! Where does he wear his speedo? She told me at work. Then asks, do you want to know what's on it? Yes, I do. Flamingos." 🙌🏻 Yes!!

She is the absolute best. I can say without any hesitation, she is my best friend. 

Lily loves: listening to music, riding her bike, skiing, going on trips, coloring, practicing her letters, playing munchkin, and playing anything with her brothers

Talking about: dinosaurs and the ocean

Favorite animal: cat and unicorns 

Favorite food: dinosaur chickenese (this is literally what she calls them) and toast 

Does not like: zucchini