Little Italy

To celebrate the 4th of July Kaj hit a milestone, he ate his first pizza. We have offered him tastes before, and he usually spits it out, disappointing Sam more than he could even describe. Afterall...Sam ..loves his pizza. Not just any pizza, New York pizza. So it was a very proud moment when Kaj happily took bite after bite of pizza. We enjoyed our holiday with lovely friends. We had a BBQ, and Sam got us burger the size and shape of baseballs, no exaggeration. The kids played on the trampoline, and the kiddie pool, which the parent in me that said on my many trips to the car "Kaj won't need a bathing suit, I doubt he'll even get in the water all the way" We was sopping wet. And he ran around happily for a really long time sopping wet before I finally decided it was time to remove the wet clothing. Sam is working a 6pm to 6am shift this week, so he wasn't able to stay as long, which is a bummer also because that shift seems like a nightmare. It was a very fun time to be with the friends. Good group of homies. Happy Birthday America.

On a very different note, mostly a need to get things expressed and off my chest so only continue reading if you want to hear about my tangent on the bloggering world otherwise you're better off jumping ship. As all the boys were sleeping today I decided to look on pinterest- which I like, and it led me to a a few blogs.

Later in the day I was feeling bad about myself. I didn't realize why, but I asked Sam if he liked me (his all time favorite question, of course) he insisted I tell him what he's doing wrong, and I asked for time to think about it. I realized it wasn't anything at all... it was a "trigger." A trigger is defined as a detail in the day that begins the process of picking yourself a part, only to find you're disappointed, if caught soon enough you can retreat that whole frame of mind, and start recognizing the reality. It was today I realized that what triggered me was the blogs I was looking at. I will lovingly refer to them as the "cookie cutter blogs" there are SO many of them out there, and they all are about the same, they like to blog about their outfits, their accessories, their hair, their diets, their food, their kids with the disclaimer of: are you blogging because you're a good mom or a good mom because you're blogging. Just because a person does not have pictures of their child/children doing every art project or every activity ever thought up does not mean a) they haven't done it or b) makes them lesser of a mom. I feel like these "cookie cutter blogs" are mommy competitions at it's finest. This is not to say that every one who has any of these elements in their blog is what I am clumping altogether it is the vain in which they are done. For a split second I thought "Do I need to be like this?" "Would Sam want me to be like this?" And the answer is an astounding, no. Sam answered the exact way I thought he would "Why would I want you to be a cookie cutter?" Honestly, I don't even want to be, but today it made me feel like that I should be. I am striving to improve myself every day. I am always looking for ways to be a better mom, a more loving wife, a kinder friend, a smarter homemaker, be a more sweet daughter, and a sister that any one in my family could turn too. Do I need to prove it? Nope.