Pumpkin Pickin

What a great time of year! We wanted to go last week to check out this pumpkin patch in Redmond which is about 20 minutes out from Bend. We have heard such fun things, but it was rainy, so we decided to put it off a week. I am so glad we did. It was a beautiful, no jacket necessary kind of a day. As we approached the pumpkin patch, I fell in love with this time of year all over again. I really do love it. I love the bright colors, I love the crispness of the air, and the smell of the fall breeze. As I kid, I may have originally loved it because it was the month that held my birthday, now I think we have established that, that is not the reason any longer. 

There were pumpkins as far as the eye could see. Josh didn't know where to start, but then he began walking over and giving them a nice slap-to check for quality- of course. Kaj's primary concern was the damaged pumpkins. "What happened to pumpkin, mom?" I heard this many times walking though the field of pumpkins. We finally decided on 3 pumpkins. One big, for the family, and 2 little guys. 

Aside from just the pumpkin patch they had a little train ride, a pumpkin canon, a farm to go see the animals, barrels of hay to climb on, a play area with a slide, a corn maze, and little "A Bug's Life" corn maze. We were excited to see that they have a similar event during Christmas time. They have a polar express ride, hot chocolate, and picking out your Christmas tree.

We waited in a pretty hefty line for the train. And, after it was done I definitely had the "I'm the dumbo" feeling that Jim Gaffigan described taking his kids to DisneyLand. But, the kids enjoyed it and that is what mattered. We all left very happy, and had such a great time together. 

what happened to pumpkin?

Josh's cheesy smile! I am in love with it!!

Growing Boys

As things have started to settle here in Bend, I am happy to say that it is officially starting to feel like home, and as I drove home the other day, I looked out on the view with all the fall colors, and I thought: yes, this is going to be good. So I am excited to be here. It took me a month, but I am there. The boys, of course, adapted quickly, and long before me. 

I often watch the craziness of these boys and think to myself..well, one of two things either: Another boy, bring it on! Or: Another boy? Really? Ok.. I love these boys. As I thought about them the other day, I was very grateful for their differences. If you know these boys, they are very different. And, as I began to note these things in my head, I wondered if it would come as a surprise to any one.

One boy

loves holding mom's hand

loves sitting on laps

loves snuggling and being cozy

gets really excited to see you if you have been gone

does not/will not give kisses

Other boy

Does not like to hold hands

Prefers running off on his own

Does not/Will not snuggle (though try as we do)

But..Loves giving kisses

Weird. The first one is Kaj, the second is Josh.

 Sometimes I feel that Kaj is a challenge, perhaps his age right now, because, he can be so emotional, and a hoarder, and does not like to participate like he feels embarrassed in settings like group singing or story time games, but lately as I chase Josh through the grocery store, and he picks up the fruit in the produce section and begins taking samples I am starting to realize I am glad I have these two different boys. I feel like they bring out the best in each other, and they balance each other out. Kaj really has never run away when we are out, I know that he will stay right by the car when I am getting Josh in/out, I can usually take Kaj to appointments for myself because he will sit still, and just make commentaries, and though I feel like we are constantly working on listening- which we are- he actually does listen quite well when I need him too. Josh-whew! He is a crack up. He is usually happy, and very easy for kids and adults to be around. He shares easily, laughs easily. He loves participating in songs, and clapping at the end. He is starting to work on some pretty major dance moves around the house. Haha! Oh my goodness. It is a mix of what looks like he is trying to break dance- yes break dance, and some hip hop and, of course, spinning in circles. The awesome thing about Josh is he brings out this in Kaj, Kaj gets more excited, and can be silly with Josh-trust me- sometimes it is not a good thing. Example: Josh wants to be out of the cart at the grocery store and look at everything, and run away and then suddenly the two of them will look at each other, like: "is this happening?" "oh yeah! this is happening!" They laugh, and both of them take off running. What just happened?

So, I am appreciating their differences so much more lately. I wouldn't change either of them. They are such fun little boys, and I love them very much.

30, Flirty, and Thriving

You have the love the movie "13 going on 30," it makes you feel great about being 30, and this was my mantra throughout the entirety of my day. Yes, I am 30 today. I will be honest I have not been looking forward to this particular birthday. I thought certainly something would stop this day from coming, or that the 4th would just be missing from the calendar this year, but it wasn't. It was there. Staring me in the face. But, as I was going to bed last night, it suddenly dawned on me, I had some pretty hard time in my 20's. Probably some of my saddest, hardest. and loneliest times I had in my 20's. I should be VanTrappe family singing my 20's farewell. So, as of last night, I am happy to be 30. I am so excited to see a better me come out of these years. Someone I really like, understanding a little bit better the worth that I have. My friend sent me an article about turning 30, and it asked why is it people get hung up on turning 30? A lot of times it is because you feel like you are supposed to have a list of all the things you have done by the time you reach 30. Is that list good enough? Long enough? Etc. But, she wrote how a better basis would be to look at the kind of person you are. To quote this article, "what you achieve is far less important than the kind of human being you are." She also talks about how by 30 you have legit advice to give, where while you are in your 20's you are learning from mistakes, big or small. I mean I know I can say to someone: "don't wear silver mascara you will look and feel like idiot all day." And I really mean that. Regardless, of my age, and the milestone that it may be, I actually am quite ok with the human being I am. It is very easy for me to see the good in others, to be genuinely happy for other people, and to make the best of just about anything. Not to say- I don't have so much to work on, but, I am aware of those things I need to work on, and that's a start.

So, my final thoughts as I was going to bed last night was: well, a lot of good things happened in your 20's too. So of course, cheers to that. I met, and married Sam. I am very happy about that decision, and we have come out better and better through all the many changes that we have been through together. I know he will continue to be supportive of the things that I want to do, and that he will do anything for me. I became a mother in my 20's, which is nothing to shake a fist at, because your whole world is turned upside down when that happens. We have lived different places, and made life long friends a long the way. Although, there once again are a lot of changes, and more to get used too, I am always hopeful for more joy to be had. 

Little Kaj bears

In the hospital with Josh 

Long Island