30, Flirty, and Thriving

You have the love the movie "13 going on 30," it makes you feel great about being 30, and this was my mantra throughout the entirety of my day. Yes, I am 30 today. I will be honest I have not been looking forward to this particular birthday. I thought certainly something would stop this day from coming, or that the 4th would just be missing from the calendar this year, but it wasn't. It was there. Staring me in the face. But, as I was going to bed last night, it suddenly dawned on me, I had some pretty hard time in my 20's. Probably some of my saddest, hardest. and loneliest times I had in my 20's. I should be VanTrappe family singing my 20's farewell. So, as of last night, I am happy to be 30. I am so excited to see a better me come out of these years. Someone I really like, understanding a little bit better the worth that I have. My friend sent me an article about turning 30, and it asked why is it people get hung up on turning 30? A lot of times it is because you feel like you are supposed to have a list of all the things you have done by the time you reach 30. Is that list good enough? Long enough? Etc. But, she wrote how a better basis would be to look at the kind of person you are. To quote this article, "what you achieve is far less important than the kind of human being you are." She also talks about how by 30 you have legit advice to give, where while you are in your 20's you are learning from mistakes, big or small. I mean I know I can say to someone: "don't wear silver mascara you will look and feel like idiot all day." And I really mean that. Regardless, of my age, and the milestone that it may be, I actually am quite ok with the human being I am. It is very easy for me to see the good in others, to be genuinely happy for other people, and to make the best of just about anything. Not to say- I don't have so much to work on, but, I am aware of those things I need to work on, and that's a start.

So, my final thoughts as I was going to bed last night was: well, a lot of good things happened in your 20's too. So of course, cheers to that. I met, and married Sam. I am very happy about that decision, and we have come out better and better through all the many changes that we have been through together. I know he will continue to be supportive of the things that I want to do, and that he will do anything for me. I became a mother in my 20's, which is nothing to shake a fist at, because your whole world is turned upside down when that happens. We have lived different places, and made life long friends a long the way. Although, there once again are a lot of changes, and more to get used too, I am always hopeful for more joy to be had. 

Little Kaj bears

In the hospital with Josh 

Long Island