A few days ago I was at the peak of frustration, and it was only 8 in the morning, and I just couldn't believe I had to get through the rest of the day. Josh was not even close to behaving, and with Rowan screaming and crying in the background while dealing with Josh amped everything up. I gave myself a time out first just for a moment to see if I could breathe, calm down, and deal better with the tantrums surrounding my life. It did not work. Josh was continuing his craziness, and then it was his turn for a time out-keeping in mind-Rowan was still going ballistic. I sat outside the boys room and just bawled up. I wanted to cry, and scream, and mostly I wanted to run away from home. Kaj sat with me and said, "Mom, it will be OK." I didn't say anything. "What's wrong, Mom? Are you sad, Mom?" Kaj asked. I told him that, yes, I was indeed sad. I mumbled "I just want to run away from home." Not so loud that Kaj could hear me, and frankly it surprises if I am listened to the first I say something at a normal decibel let alone a whisper. But, Kaj had heard me, his big brown eyes filled with tears as he said "Mom we be so sad if you run away from home. Dad would be so sad, we all would be so sad. We love you." And, I looked at him, and suddenly I didn't want to run away from home anymore. Kaj really is so tender hearted, and sweet. He has all those very sensitive qualities I saw in myself as a kid. And with that, it has both negative and positives sides. But, if I could teach him to pay more attention to what is going on around him I feel like he will be able to uplift others around him also. I learned a lot from Kaj in that moment. I was so thankful that I have such a sweet boy to realize that even Mom can be sad, but it quickly turned my day around all because of him.
That is such a sweet boy.
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