So...towards the beginning of January Sam had been researching Golden Retrievers for a couple months. I would never say that Sam is rash when it comes to big purchases because he will take months and months researching. However, I have noticed that when he gets into this mode the purchase is inevitable. I remember my first introduction to this is when he bought us our really nice canon camera the first year we were married. He had been researching away and suddenly he told me he had bought the camera. Nowadays I am usually aware of the purchase before it's made. I digress. This time it had been little Golden puppies. He had reached out to someone on Craigslist who had a 6 month, already trained white Golden Retriever in Portland. It really did seem to fit what I want in a dog especially considering that I was pregnant and definitely not want to full on train a puppy. So we made a day of it and took the family down to Portland. We were going to meet the dog but we went to a yummy pizza place and also the OMSI museum. 
We met up with the owner of the puppy who was actually a veterinarian. She seemed like she really loved and cared for the dog. She went on to explain how she had got too puppies at once a lab and this golden and she felt in over her head. She explained that she really preferred Zip-his name to them-but her teenage daughter loved the lab. Honestly, he was nice. He was so nice. I was expecting this dog to jump up on our boys and scare them but he didn't do that at all. He wagged his tail and smiled at them, and far from scared them.
We had a couple more places to run and Sam and I both mulled it over. We talked at IKEA when we were needing to get back on the road to head considering it was already dark. I could tell Sam was sold. I was hesitant still but he was a sweet dog and we couldn't think of another time to trek back down to Portland. If we did, I would have to make the trip alone with the boys. We met with the family at a gas station so we could get on the road out of town. The "parents" of Scooby both said goodbye and admittedly I cried watching them say good bye to him. He jumped in our car happily. Sam's eyes lit up and he was in love. We bounced new names off each other because his name was Zip. And we eventually landed on Scooby.
We don't have Scooby anymore. Although he was sweet and great with the boys, and had quite an easy going temperament I could not have a dog at this time. Being pregnant and with the ages of kids I felt like everything he did put me in a really bad mood and made me more frustrated than I wanted to be. I had "dog guilt." I already have "mom guilt." Every time I couldn't walk him or I had to run errands or I had to leave to drop off Kaj, pick up Kaj and I would have to put his in his crate I felt so badly. We didn't have a fence so I couldn't trust to just have him outside and finally Sam got a hold of the previous owner to let them know it may not work out. When the owner had talked to us about selling her dog she said that if there as ever a time we changed our minds or didn't want him to let her know. We had a few weeks to decide because they wouldn't be in the Bend area for a bit of time. But when it came right down to it even though I realized I eventually would be able to really care for him to love him but it would take me years to get there because of the circumstances and I didn't think it was fair for him to wait that long. Truly, he really was such a good dog and if it was a few years down the road and we had happened upon him I would want him in a heart beat. But, the time just wasn't now. I miss him sometimes. I know Sam misses him. I know Rowan missed him a lot at the beginning. But, I know he is with a family who loves him and that he just being his happy self.
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