Joshy- 9 months

pretty tuckered to fall asleep in his high chair

Why wouldn't we have a doctor's appointment the week we are moving? I had to schedule Josh's 9 month appointment this week, when I made the appointment the next time they wanted to set it up was some time in January, and it was strange to say we would no longer be here. So, the latest stats on this little peanut are: 16lbs 11 oz putting him in the 15th percentile, he is 50th percentile for height, and his head.."is fine" according to the doctor. He now has two bottom teeth, and one top tooth. He is tongue tied, which we found out a couple months ago, but it hasn't interfered with eating, or babbling. He is still so sweet and so smiley. He is crawling, and is now racing against himself whenever he does, always trying to break the speed barrier! ha! He is pulling himself to stand more and more. One of my favorite things that Josh does, and has done for awhile, whenever he is excited to see someone he gives them a big smile, and throws one of his arms up in the air like he is preparing for a big hug. He is quite the little boy.

Breathe Between Boxes

Truth be told, I am not feeling myself the last few days. I have had a guilt settle as I make our house more and more chaotic. I get the feeling Kaj is trying to make sense of everything going on. It is hard to explain to a 2 year old what is happening with all the boxes. Though, I have explained with tear filled eyes that we would be saying good bye to his friends, and quickly recovered by telling him where we are moving too. "Amma's, and Ampa's." This home is a big deal for many reasons. For Kaj, this is where he made he first friends. Before we moved here, he was too little to care, and now he is used to seeing the sweet faces of these same kids time and time again, I can tell him where we are going- to see Ella, or Crew, or and Henry and Jane, or Cadence and Kennedy (though if he can tell those girls apart he is quite gifted) I know he knows them. And, I also know he likes to be around them. 

 Another big deal is the fact the when we came to New York there was only 3 members of our family, and we are now 4. Josh's first home. I know that Josh will not remember being here. But, I know that there are many friends of mine who will not forget this baby boy. A dear friend of mine left for Christmas vacation before I leave, and witnessing her saying goodbye to Josh was not an easy thing.

I don't do this often but, today I looked around and thought "is this my life?" I am a mom. I started thinking "what could/would I be doing if I wasn't a mom?" Well, the sad truth was as I began throwing myself a grand pity party, I thought "wow..there is nothing else I am really that good at that I could be doing instead, and I am really not that great of  mom, so... this really stinks." It is just one of those days... and  because just like my sleeves where I wear emotions, I also write in the exact honest mood I am in. I will chalk it up to the fact that we are moving, the house now has limited space, I am trying desperately to create normalcy for these little boys, but I believe I am failing them right now.

However, the moment I loaded these pictures to look at the faces of these kids...and being a mom to these two knuckle heads is the joy I can't live without.

This is how Kaj rode in the cart the whole grocery store event ha!

The Merriest Christmas house ever!!

I finally made it to the city! I was so happy to have with me Kim and Terri!

Actually ice skated at the Rockafellar Center

"V" is for...creeper stalker van?

Family Pictures 2012

 Well, I feel like I have taken a forced leave of absence, but I am happy to be back in business! We exchanged taking family pictures with a dear and great friend of mine from Long Island recently. It was a very fun thing to do. It made me feel a lot of pressure taking someone else's family photos...cue Sam, who really did a nice job- the wheels in his head start to spin, and he doesn't really feel pressured with something like that.

We took these pictures on Black Friday. We went up to Avalon, and for those of you who have visited us it is just above the duck pond area. I wasn't sure what I had in mind, but was sure there would be some thing... A door. By a barn. Perfect!!!

I just have a lot of feelings- these days especially. Going back and forth from emotional to sad, to excited to not really wanting to think about how I feel. I wrote a poem when my family was moving from the Sandy house and there is a line that says: "...packing boxes not ever really seeing, exactly what you're leaving" and it can easily get that way. The process of moving can really get time consuming, and meticulous, as you go out on quests throughout your home to organize your belongings as logically as you can. This time, however, I have made sure to stop and think about what I am leaving. I have taken time to think back on the absolute assurance that I had when moving here was the right thing to do. I had really known in my heart that this is where we would grow together as a family. There were never any doubts. But, it has done so much more than just that.
 I have grown. I feel like I will always be able to look back at this time in our lives here and know that this was a turning point.  I feel like I am a much better version of myself. I am happier. I feel confident in who I am--not always, but for the most part.
There will always be people who like you and there will always people who don't. I think it is so important to be on the side of people who do like you. I think finding value in yourself, and knowing that you have what it takes, and sometimes you really won't feel like that, but surrounding yourself by people who really love you, and  truly believe you do have what it takes..is not something to take lightly either. Believe them. If you can't do that...ask Heavenly Father. He will answer you.

oh Kaj bears...

Josh VS Kaj

Well, I finally found a picture of these two crazy boys. About 7 months. I will let you decide!

What's the Joke?

A Good Sport

Everyone has heard of being a good sport. It's nice when you hear that-"you're being a good sport", usually lifts your spirits just enough to keep on being a good sport. Perhaps it is being adaptable, or rolling with the punches, or having a good attitude about something, doing something without complaint, well, Josh wins the "good sport" award. This little boy has been sick for the past couple weeks. He had a cold turned cough, and it has been breaking my heart to hear him. Only to find out after taking him to the doctor he actually has a sinus infection! But, you would never know it to be around him, he is all smiles!! He is so much fun to be around, I watch this kid steal hearts everywhere he goes, because of all these sweet smiles he gives out. Not only that- he lights up! He literally looks like there is always a gleam in his eyes, and I am so thankful to have such a sweet boy! 

I also wanted to add that there is a trend around here on trying to be a good sport. This is a line to get gas...keep in mind this only part of the line, this line goes up the street, and around the corner, and up the street a few more blocks before the gas station. I have had friends now waiting for...(think of a number in your head) No!! 7 hours!! No joke-you definitely are being a good sport to do that. The fuel situation does seem to be improving slightly despite the picture, which was taken today, but it is still, obviously, in high demand. 

So here's to being a good sport, and making the most of your situations!! 

Hurricane Sandy

These pictures are just the tip of the iceberg of the damage that can be seen from really anywhere on Long Island right now. Around every corner there are more trees down, more power cords hanging, and more and more debris. And..ahem..from what you can see these are not small trees. I was driving today and a power post was snapped hanging over,  but hadn't fallen, and cars were just driving by, and I thought "Jeez, that looks like it could give any moment." 

This is our second hurricane since being here in Long Island. The first was built up for a least week, and I caught wind (ha) of Sandy just a couple days prior to it hitting. I was worried, more worried this time than before. I also wanted to feel more prepared than I was before. Though, Hurricane Irene was very built up- it left us without power for 4 days. I kept wondering "are they just building this one up again?" But, the more I learned about it the less I thought that was the case. I am also not meteorologist, I guess I am better off taking their word for it. So I got some much stronger tape than last time-gorilla tape, and we taped up all our windows, moved around the furniture especially the boys room so Kaj would not be sleeping under any windows, I started compiling packs. Packs of updated clothing, packs of warms clothes, bags of food, all that could be easily accessible, and the diaper bag with just diapers filled to the brim, all in the event that if we needed to leave quickly, we could do so. I found myself making sandwiches?..it seemed like a good idea. I made a bread loaf's full of peanut butter and jam sandwiches, in case we needed to leave, also if we didn't have power they would be easy to just take out, and something Kaj would always eat. We got all our water ready, all of our flashlights, headlamps, matches and candles at the ready, also turned our fridge down to the coldest setting...and just..waited. It is a weird thing waiting for the inevitable storm. We were thankful for technology today that would  allow people to prep, otherwise we wouldn't be waiting, we would just be hit.  

So Monday, the day of the hurricane around 2 in the afternoon we lost power. It was still light enough in the house that it wasn't too bad for the boys, and we didn't have to use up our other lights. We moved a bunch of food to the cooler. And, since the real brunt of the storm wasn't supposed to hit till around 6 that night we knew we were still just waiting to see what happened. So we continued being hunkered down. We had a soup on the stove, and suddenly at around 4:30 the lights all turned back on. "No way." Was Sam's reaction. We thought, of course, it was only a matter of time, till we lost power again, but like a miracle. We did not. We streamed the live footage of the storm, were aware of when it had struck land, we could hear the angry winds, and a couple times are lights flickered, but honestly there was calm in our house. I was no longer worried, I know Sam was not worried, because he doesn't get worried like I do, and as long we acted excited about the wind to Kaj "Oohh wow do you hear the wind! Whoa!" he was not scared of anything either. 

As we looked around our neighborhood the following day, it seemed even more amazing that we hadn't lost power. Later we found out that 90% of the island was without...Needless to say, we said a lot of prayers of thanksgiving that day for the tender mercies of Lord to allow us to have power. We helped other people in the ward, and extended our home out to anyone for their power needs. We are still in the thick of recovery from the storm. There are only some gas stations that are up and running, and the ones that have been working are assurely running out of fuel. The lines to get gas are that of an amusement park ride, and is definitely not as fun when you are finally to the end. There are also schools and stores, that have shut down, and it is not yet known when they will open back up. The stocks of food at stores that are open are slowly running out of food as well. 

We are thankful for family and friends that expressed their love and concern for us, and we definitely are grateful for all the prayers. Long Islanders seem to be wanting to lend a helping hand to others, which is a lovely thing to see. We officially made it through hurricane #2, Hurricane Sandy.