Not Running Away From Home

 A few days ago I was at the peak of frustration, and it was only 8 in the morning, and I just couldn't believe I had to get through the rest of the day. Josh was not even close to behaving, and with Rowan screaming and crying in the background while dealing with Josh amped everything up. I gave myself a time out first just for a moment to see if I could breathe, calm down, and deal better with the tantrums surrounding my life. It did not work. Josh was continuing his craziness, and then it was his turn for a time out-keeping in mind-Rowan was still going ballistic. I sat outside the boys room and just bawled up. I wanted to cry, and scream, and mostly I wanted to run away from home. Kaj sat with me and said, "Mom, it will be OK." I didn't say anything. "What's wrong, Mom? Are you sad, Mom?" Kaj asked. I told him that, yes, I was indeed sad. I mumbled "I just want to run away from home." Not so loud that Kaj could hear me, and frankly it surprises if I am listened to the first I say something at a normal decibel let alone a whisper. But, Kaj had heard me, his big brown eyes filled with tears as he said "Mom we be so sad if you run away from home. Dad would be so sad, we all would be so sad. We love you." And, I looked at him, and suddenly I didn't want to run away from  home anymore. Kaj really is so tender hearted, and sweet. He has all those very sensitive qualities I saw in myself as a kid. And with that, it has both negative and positives sides. But, if I could teach him to pay more attention to what is going on around him I feel like he will be able to uplift others around him also. I learned a lot from Kaj in that moment. I was so thankful that I have such a sweet boy to realize that even Mom can be sad, but it quickly turned my day around all because of him.

Summer Time in Bend

We moved to Bend last fall in mid September. I was also very pregnant at the time, and we were mostly in transition-hybernation mode with intermittent appearances in the social setting, but summer time in Bend is whole new story! I love it. It is the most pleasant of temperatures every day mid 70s to 80s with a breeze. So amazing! We are frequenters to the river, and the pool, we recently took a ride around the old mill area on a group bicycle called a surrey-I have wanted to do this since I first set eyes on the wonderful invention and is now a must for anyone who comes to visit us. It is so fun, and the boys absolutely loved it! I will say that it confused me a little at first-no not the having to pedal obviously I was doing that-but there are two steering wheels, and as I was steering us around the first loop making sure that Sam and my steering was perfectly in sync with each other so we didn't hit passers by, or run in to any poles, I then realized his steering wheel was the only one with actual control, so duly noted. I have started trail running the loop by the river in the evening, and I couldn't ask for a more scenic run. It actually makes me want to run it-which is saying something. I like to take the boys to walk around by the bridge, and we usually get an ice-cream cone, and look at fish or the ducks, and all the people who float the river. The point is- visitors-come in and visit in the summer. 

The one down side is that there was a wildfire a few days ago. I first smelled it, before I noticed that the whole sky was a dust cloud, and the smoke coming from it was humungous! There was ashes falling from the sky for a day, and it ended up burning 600,000 acres. It has now been contained, but it was a little close for comfort for a day. 

But, because that it not an every day occurrence it should not deter anyone. So it took me a good 8 months to really enjoy it here, but I can say now, I am really loving Bend. 

I Have a 4 Year Old

 Kaj turned 4! I am very late in updating this seeing his birthday was a couple weeks ago, but I also can't just not say anything about this little boy. It is crazy to look at this boy as baby, and see how much 4 years can change. In 4 years we have moved to New York, finished grad school, moved to Oregon, and had 2 more kids. That's what 4 years can do! And that is wild stuff!!

Kaj has always been very tender hearted, and sensitive. I am enjoying him more and more. We have definitely had ups and downs, and challenges, and I am certain there will be many more. But I find that he is very good brother, and cares very much about Josh and Rowan, and wants to protect them. He loves to be with Sam, and he is starting to think of things he wants to do sometimes out of nowhere. Last night he got out of bed, and ran over to me, and asked, "Mom, can we go swimming!?" And when I said yes that we would be going swimming, he exclaimed, "YAY!!!" And when Sam got home from work he wanted to tell him goodnight, and about swimming.

Dictated by Kaj:
Likes:
Playing outside
Playing with his brothers
Angry Birds…(still)
Go to the playground
Play
Have some fun
Go on the Slides
Get on the stairs
Mac n Cheese
Help mom
Help Rowan


Friends:
Alicia and Mom
Conner
Joshy

Dislikes:
Not finding letters

So, there is Kaj for you. Though I would definitely add that he dislikes eating. Actually he is getting much better. But, lets just say at the doctor's appointment for 4 years he is 5% for weight. No surprises here, but my doctor didn't love that. Kaj has always loved the outdoors, and I know Sam is very excited to go skiing with him more, and biking with him more. I know Kaj would also love this. He also loves spending one on one time quality time with people, it could be me or Sam, Mor-Mor or Pappy. I have decided to make a chore chart now that he is 4, and a reward chart as well for good behavior, and when I thought of what his reward could be when I came up with the idea of doing Daddy-Kaj or Mommy-Kaj dates night, I knew that is the perfect thing for him. 

Kaj starts school this fall. I can't believe it. It is only 2 days a week for a few hours, which is perfect for everyone-including me. I think he will enjoy school. Kaj is very smart, and I think it will give a chance to interact with children differently than just playing. I am excited to see what this year will bring for Kaj. I love him very much. He is sweet, kind, and thankful. I know that I need to better and reminding him of what a good boy he really is. 

The Mom Award of the Year Goes To...

Me!!! Why you ask? Well, last week we had a streak of awesome weather here in Bend. It was sunny, and breezy, and delightful to be outside. (cue the song: "Good day Sunshine") (did you sing it?? Perfect.) So, some friends and I planned some outings to take advantage of the delightfulness, starting with a day at the river. This is a river that moves at a snail's pace, so it is not as if we are taking small children to the sit ashore the the Parana River (which turns out is the 8th fastest river in the world) We took them the week prior, and they mostly played in the mud, built sand castles, or dug holes, and maybe get their feet wet, but definitely got their clothes really dirty. It had been a normal day for me thus far. A little frazzled here and there, but mostly things were running smoothly, but of course, a little frazzled when I was arriving, because just the mere task of getting all 3 boys out the door, and with a packed diaper bag is a small miracle. The particular spot we like to go to has a trail, a park, and shopping all nearby so parking can be tricky, and by "tricky" I mean I will most likely be parallel parking. I should have known after I missed my turn twice to go into the parking area altogether going back through 2 round a bouts that this was going to be a bad idea, this frazzled me further, because I felt I was already running late.
I found an awesome parking spot. I tried my skills at parallel parking. I then had a parallel parking fail Once. Ok. Twice. Half way into a third, and then moved up to another parking space that I thought I could luck out and parallel park the first time. And luckily totally rocked it that time. I jumped out of the car, Rowan already crying. The list of: "How this is going down" began to form in my head. Grab Josh, then Rowan. Wait no, I need to get the stroller out of the car, then Josh, then Rowan, then Kaj. Grab the diaper bag, throw it into the bottom of the stroller. Kaj can sit in the back, click the carseat into the front, Josh can sit on the top while I hold on to him, and then we are all systems go. That was the plan. My van does this awesome thing. When I turn off my car it automatically opens my door, it does not open any other door, so I got to the part of the plan that was get the stroller. Dang it. The back was locked, go hit the button of my door to indicate all doors unlock, just as I realized I hit it the wrong way, locking all the doors, my door shut. My purse, my phone, my keys…and my CHILDREN all locked in the car. Expletive. Rowan was already crying, and it was a rather warm day. New plan. Run as fast as I can to my friend who would have her phone, run as fast as I can back to the car, call the police (I knew the police had to come unlock the car promptly if they knew kids were in the car) but encourage Kaj to unlock the car with his feet. (I had seen him do this many times) This time the plan was executed perfectly. So, as unawesome as this moment was, I did stay calm, and Kaj did end up being able to open the door just as the police arrived to help.
So, just to top off the day, almost to reiterate the kind of day I was having- that night Josh pooped in the tub. The water was drained, and Kaj told me what happened as he jumped out of the tub. I walked over apprehensively to see what mess I would be cleaning up, and Josh was still standing there, apparently unbeknownst to him what the big deal was. I asked Josh to hurry and come to me, and then he turned around, got frightened, and has not been able to look at the tub the same since. Living the dream over here.

Sweet Moments

This first picture captures my life perfectly right now. Leaving the house, not realizing that I had two completely different shoes on. Only when I was driving home did I look down and notice my error. I consider myself lucky if I am getting out of the house at all. Rowan is now 3 months. He is starting to smile, laugh, goo, and he tends to run in place quite a bit in fact, he is quite fast in the horizontal running event. I am seeing more and more of his sweet personality emerge, though he still can get sad throughout the day, it is not nearly as bad as it was. When he cries now, it sounds like he is saying "mum" over and over, which kinda melts my heart. 

The other two wild and crazy boys have had a moment each where I felt I had to document it. The boys were all downstairs on a Sunday putting shoes on, and as I was coming down the stairs ready for church Kaj said: "Whoa, mom! You look beautiful!" It was so adorable! The Josh moment came a week later. Sam had gotten him out of bed, and he had been hanging out in the play area for a bit, I was still cuddling with Rowan, though I was awake, and then I saw Josh coming into our room, he took out his pacifier, and came up to the bed to give me a kiss. Oh! I just love these boys sometimes! I love them all the time, but those sweet moments, make me so happy! 

Kaj and Josh are continuing to become the best of buddies every day. They love running around together, and wrestling, and wearing blankets over their heads to crawl around in, and their energy is through the roof. On the Sunday of spring break it was really crowded with visitors in town, and so our family as well as many others ended up in the foyer for whole meeting. Kaj was sitting with me practicing drawing all his letters, and Rowan was sleeping. Josh, on the other hand, was running around like a crazy man, he would run over to this bucket of salt in the entry way, wait for us to tell him to stop, laugh and run away, and do that a few hundred times, he wanted drinks from the drinking fountain a hundred times as well. It doesn't help that he gets a kick out of himself, and it probably helps even less that he actually is pretty hilarious, but Sam was chasing him down the whole time. Sam made the comment that we need a "horse tranquilizer for this kid." That is probably not far off. 

But, as always, I am very grateful for my crazy boys. And I love them to pieces!

Best Buds

Making Cookies

Kaj asked me one day "can you take a pictures of Kaj, mom, and dad?" coming from the boy who never wants to take a picture

Went with my friends and their kids to the museum between 4 girls and 14 kids total there is only 2 girls

My Funny 2 Year Old

Happy Birthday to my little Joshy! We had a great time celebrating Josh's birthday. I did want to make it a special and fun day, even though he would likely not remember. I blew up the whole pack of 24 balloons the night before his birthday and made a trail from his room to downstairs, I decorated the table with balloons, and party hats, and new birthday plates that Sam's parents sent, and I put to good use right away! These seemingly small things I did made the morning awesome. Both the boys were so excited to see all the balloons. Sam got Josh in the morning, and he usually strolls into our room, with Kaj already there we cued him that we would begin singing "happy birthday" when he walked in, as soon as we got done singing Josh's just let out this huge roar/grunt. It was hilarious. I took the boys to the bounce house in the morning, and the playground in the afternoon, and miraculously Rowan was having a very good day, and allowed all of these things to happen, it was his birthday present to Josh. We had planned on having friends over for cake and ice-cream but each of those families had at least one child sick with the stomach flu, but we still had a lot of fun. 

Sam's schedule has been crazy this week. It started out on Monday getting called in at 2:00am and then getting home at 6:30am, and then still go to work the next day. On the Tuesday which was Josh's birthday Sam only had a small 45 min window to come home late after work and spend some time with us before having to go back in till 10:00. He then had another night this week where he had to go in at 11:00 at night and then get back in at 2:30 in the morning. Even though we didn't have a lot of time as a whole family on Josh's birthday the boys helped assemble the little bike we got Josh, and let him ride around on it for a bit, had some cake and ice cream before Sam had to leave again, and the boys loved it.

I have said it before, and I will say it again. I am crazy about Josh. His fun personality is always surprising and adorable. I love that he puts every hat and scarf on, and proceeds to walk around the house. I love that he sets up little obstacle courses for himself, trips on purpose, and then get up and runs as fast as he can. I love the little things he starting to say. The kid spills every single day, and he will always go run for the towel and try to clean it up. I love  the little smirks he gets when he wants you to watch him. I love how easily he shares, and how easily he loves, and how he can laugh at almost everything. He makes our home so happy. He is a best friend to his brother, and is simply a contagious light to be around for anyone. He loves being a big brother, and runs to soothe Rowan when he cries, and tries to help by giving him hugs, and kisses. He is very good at following direction, and he is so helpful even when it may not be actually helpful, I appreciate him trying. An example of that is when he will get into my purse and proceed handing me everything in my purse individually saying, "here you go." He has a delightful energy, and curiosity. He is cautious and careful with new things, but learns to love new activities quickly. He can make me laugh every day. I love his quiet moments when he will actually sit still, and listen to a story, and he puts his little hand on your lap. I love that when I let him pick out his own clothes he actually takes the time to not only look, but then usually picks out the snappiest outfit, and is usually a church going shirt, and I am the one who will ask him to tone it down. He has a face that it is simply hard to ever be mad at despite the craziness he can cause completely alone- dumping nearly a whole box of cereal all over the carpet being the most recent of the Josh damage control, noting that it was not simply dumping all the cheerios out in one spot that is too simple for Joshy, but running around the house dumping them everywhere is more like it. He really is such a great kid. I love Josh so much, and cannot picture my life without him. I am so happy to be his mom. 

Where Have all the Spoons Gone

Being a mom of 3 little boys is a lot of dinosaurs noises, race car driving, muddy hands and feet, rock collecting, running around, and messy fun. Growing up never once did I think that I would have 3 boys. I had sisters. We had Barbie dolls, paper dolls, and dress up…it's different, but I am sure much the same. Josh and Kaj are quite the pair. They have started venturing and getting into everything! Things they couldn't reach before they can now reach, and if they can't reach something they will dump out the contents of a basket to enable themselves to reach. Spoons are a new phenomenon in our home in that they need a spoon for every drink they have. They have also discovered the refrigerator can make ice so they need water with ice, and a spoon to stir the ice. They need a spoon for their chocolate milk so they can slurp it up like soup, savoring each sip…which makes sense to me. But, I seriously am beginning to wonder where all our spoons have gone. 

I am running up and down the stairs a lot. Whether it is changing the laundry or just trying to shower, because, if the boys are downstairs things can change drastically from one moment to the next. One day I was going to shower at a decent hour meaning in the morning- I have to preface this that I had a pan with 2 hard boiled eggs out for my snacks, and 2 cubes of thawed butter out to make cookies. I had told Kaj :" I need your help making cookies later, do you want to help me?" Of course he did. Always before going upstairs and the boys are downstairs I say, "ok guys, are you going to be good?" More a hopeful request than an expectation, because they are crazy and you never know. I went upstairs started the water, and was about to get in, and before doing so, I thought: I should go check on the boys again real fast. Got my robe on, ran downstairs, to find the 2 eggs smashed to smithereens all over the floor, and thawed butter everywhere- on the counter, on the drawers, inside the drawers, a couple of spoons out, and two little boys looking guilty as ever. I gasped, and sat there for a minute to process everything, and also to calm down before I reacted. I asked, "what are you doing?!" Kaj answered that they were making cookies. I knew that is what they were attempting to do, I am not certain but I don't think they would have turned out without the rest of the ingredients, "Well, you have to wait for mom." I actually even managed to laugh a little, and I didn't get that mad about until I started to clean up. Other not as horrendous of times when I come down and both the boys are sitting on the couch eating slices of bread, "We're eating bread, mom!" Kaj will say happily! Ok…? They have been caught out in the backyard on multiple occasions the funniest was finding Kaj with no pants on, and a pajama top, Josh in pajamas, both of them wearing a pair or my shoes, and Sam's flip flips, with their beanies on their heads. So props to them for putting shoes on, I guess. So needless to say, I am kept on my toes all the time.

 

In other stories picking out cards at the store for my mom's birthday was memorable this time, because Kaj knew exactly that we were picking one out for MorMor's birthday, and as I scanned the options I heard Kaj say, "What about this one, mom?" I turned around to see him holding this bum card, and laughed so hard. Because, obviously that is the perfect card!

My dad planned to visit for Rowan's blessing. Sam does not have strong friendships developed with any men in particular here yet, he is pleasant with them all, but we really would not have much of circle, and we thought if my dad could manage to come out when he was up here for work again, it would awesome. So that is how we planned it, unfortunately, by the time we told a member of the bishopric we found out that it was actually going to be stake conference. So we figured that we would just bless Rowan at home. It was a good decision considering he cried the whole time, and stopped as soon as it was over, which was quickly. Despite the shortness of the blessing it was still sweet.

The blessing of Rowan was done March 9th 2014. He was blessed with the desire to learn. And to learn about the Savior, as well as a desire to follow the Savior. He was blessed that he would be an example to his brothers, and to know his family loves him. He was blessed to seek truth from the scriptures, and to go to the temple one day, and to serve in any manner the Lord asked of him.

Kaj has been loving the letter puzzles, again. He now is very interested in spelling names. He came up to me the other day saying "This spells Kaj! K-A-J!" holding up those letters to show me. He then wanted to learn mom, dad, and Mor Mor. The next day he spelled out MOM and DAD all by himself. He then wanted to learn how to spell Pappy, and later in the day randomly he wanted to spell Whitty. What I also love about Kaj these days, if there are ever moments where I am stressed, or cleaning up after Josh who spills every day Kaj will say, "It's ok, mom, we can try again later." This is what Sam has told Kaj. It's sweet to hear from him. 

Rowan before his blessing

Rowan "during" his blessing