Summer Is Here

Todd Lake: learned a new running tip...run like your are being eaten alive by mosquitos

First pool day: asked for $18 to get his own goggles

Juniper Pool

Best Moving helpers

Josh at High Desert Museum

"The beach" at the river

I really have dropped the ball lately with my blog, and with good reason. Things were changing faster than I could catch up. So...we bought a house. The way that it had come about was our landlord saying that he was planning on selling the house we were in. OK. Thanks, Brian. So, that began the search, as well as the debate on making an offer on the house we were in, and more searching. Our friend who is a in real estate agent was awesome, and we set up some outings with him right away to look at some places. The first week looking there were always some things that we liked, and things we didn't like, and we usually would walk away just not really knowing what to do. There was no time frame of needing to get out of our current place, but we didn't really want to wait till we were in that predicament. We did actually make an offer on the place we were in, a reasonable price considering the home, and the year it was built, and he was asking for much more, so that was our answer. So, we went a few more times with a little more motivation to find something. We went on a Saturday really intent on finding a house. We had been looking all morning, Rowan was spent, and Sam and I finally decided he would take a look at this last house, and I would take the boys home, but when I saw the house we were going to look at, I had to see inside. With a sad Rowan, and unloading the boys again for what felt like the 100th time, we went in, and Sam and I were both finally excited about the same house. Sam said right away, "This is it. This is the one." I completely agreed! And, we wrote up the offer that day.

The escrow date was set for 4 weeks out, and it didn't seem like very long at all! Packing and moving in that short amount of time. But, what made it seem long was the fact that you have to send these people everything in your whole life to get approved for a loan (because we didn't have the cash up front haha!) and, at a point, we would not have been surprised if they asked for our first born. But, we closed on the 15th of May. As planned. It has been a transition, and at first, I was definitely missing my neighbors, being closer to friends, I loved the old side of town.. (I know, I know Bend is not a big town ha!) but still, there were things I was missing. My mom and my sister who, both have such talents in decorating and organizing were amazing enough to come a couple weeks after moving in to help me with those things. I honestly I already knew the combination of the two of them together, my house would be so much more together, but they exceeded what I already knew! They can walk in and have an automatic vision of what it could be, and I still am completely blown away. I can honestly say since they came, and everything came together, is when I fell in love with my house. Suddenly everything about it became like home. Of course, we also had a great time together, good laughs, and good conversation. The boys love them a lot, and a couple weeks later and they are bringing them up. Kaj said just a few days ago, "I miss Mor Mor and Aunt Whit..a lot." Its was very sweet. And, Josh going to bed the other night after saying I was beautiful (sweet kid)  said, "And Mor Mor is beautiful!" reminding me a very funny moment when they were here. My friend Sara came over to look at the house, and immediately said, "can you please send them over to my house?!." They are good. 

Very condensed, that brings us to now. Summer is here officially. I took the boys to this big water balloon fight today to kick off the summer right. I finally sat down the other day, and wrote out ideas, hikes, all kinds of plans for the summer, and it made me very excited about it. We are working on the current situation at hand which is our lack of air conditioning in the house, and with a 97 degree spike this week we really had to take into deep consideration maybe our little air conditioning unit isn't quite enough? But, till then we have it set up in the front room, open the windows at night, and hope for the best.

Feeling grateful.

Spring Break Utah Trip

(Trumpets Sounding)

And the highly anticipated blog has finally arrived! I kid, I kid. Though, it has been some time coming. This year, we had decided to take a much needed trip for spring break. The way that it had formulated was what feels like many moons ago: Sam was planning a ski trip with our friend Andrew. It fell through, and Sam's start date for derm kept being moved back, until it finally landed on March 2nd. Knowing that Sam was mostly likely not going to be able to make this trip happen, I, thinking that I am superwoman, planned on making the drive to Utah myself. In the meantime, my mom thought it may be helpful that she fly into Bend, and help me drive the one way to Utah. So, that is what we made happen. 

Just prior to the trip, was Josh's 3rd birthday. We celebrated with balloons, bike riding, and presents. Josh is such a sweet kid. He gets more and more helpful, with a bright smile, and just an endearing excitement. Mor Mor came in and got him "lightning guy" and "Fire guy," who, Josh will transform into either character spontaneously in any given moment to this day. 

 We left the house Saturday morning at 7:40, and we cruised. We only had one really close moment where there was a bathroom situation, and we were essentially out of gas, and as we ran on fumes and saw the sign for the gas station in Snowville, angels sang. The boys did really well, and for any 10 +  hour day in the car, it made for a long one, but it was not bad. It was enjoyable, as always, with my mom, and at 7:40 pm we were in Draper. 

I feel like we spent our time great while we were there. We had fun activities planned with the kids, and it was so awesome to have the cousins for the first time really hit it off. They had little conversations, ran around together, the boys got a kick out of the girls,  they liked talking to their aunts and uncles, and it was just a really delightful time. I loved Mara's fun spirit of just "hanging with the guys" attitude. Josh and Mara were so funny to watch, sharing the same boy toys, and running around crazy. The boys also adored Noel. They loved making her laugh, and running around with her, and being the goofy boy cousins that they are. I, loved all of it! I loved the time I spent with everyone, though brief with some, still a really good time. We were also able to spend some time with Teresa and Vance, and their family. The cousins played so great there, also, and we enjoyed catching up.

We went to the dinosaur museum, Wheeler Farm, and the Museum of curiosity...twice. We are that curious, I guess.
I was also lucky enough to spend some good quality time with good friends. I was able to help Kathy with her home, by doing inventory, and helping her sort through some of her things. I was glad that I was able to be with her to give her a hug when she was sad finally rather than just have to listen to it over the phone, I was also happy that despite the circumstance, we were able to laugh, and have good conversations, and enjoy each other's company. I was also able to spend some time with Kim, who I adore. I was glad that we got to catch up, and wished though, that there was more time.

The time did seem to fly by, and soon we were heading back home, I had booked a hotel in Boise, as my half way point, and went on my way, only solo this time. Though, there were some tears from Rowan at the beginning, it didn't take long for him to calm down. We had to stop a few more times, and when there was a stop, it was a bit of a scene, with me hauling behind me my 3 boys at a rest stop, but definitely a scene I am very used to by now. The boys were great. They listened, they obeyed, and they made it pretty easy to keep on cruising a long. The hotel stay was the hardest part of the trip, but a necessary part. It was hard having to carry everything to the room and back primarily on my own, the small items that I did give to Kaj  and Josh suddenly seemed unbearably heavy- while I had to verbally motivate them to keep on moving, and then proceeded to hold the doors open for them while carrying every bag possible, plus Rowan, as they slowly and sloppily went on their way. But, despite this, I decided it was going to be a great idea to take them out to dinner. So, I sat there, in Red Robin, with my 3 boys, hoping that everything would come out quickly, and knowing that it was 100% my decision. It was crazy, but fine. After that, we went on a walk around this big pond bythe restaurant to kill a little time before going back to the hotel where I wasn't entirely sure how the night would work. I am writing this, so it worked.
We definitely were happy to be back home, and happy to see Sam. It was a great trip, and the boys loved it, and I would do it again!

 

A lot Has Changed

A lot has changed in the last month.

About a month ago, my friends Kathy and Becca visited me here in Bend. I was so grateful for the excitement to come out, and lift my spirits after a hard few weeks of feeling very down. The weekend was great. Shortly after, I asked Kathy for some of the pictures she had taken while they were here so that I can blog about it, but I put it off-like ya do- a couple of extra weeks never hurt anyone, never did I think a couple weeks would make such a difference. 

I am not going to go into it. A lot has changed, I wanted to post these first few pictures regardless because it was a good weekend, and my boys very much enjoyed the time they spend with them. 

I have learned a lot about friendship, have re evaluated my priorities, and I feel more sure about myself than I have in a while. 

I am thankful for the friendships that I have, that includes the friend I have in my husband, with my siblings, with my parents, and friends that I choose that have the qualities I value in all my relationships. I have been able to strengthen friendships, mend others, and I also am thankful that children are so resilient, and that they are able to make new friendships with such ease. 

I also have to share that after a few weeks of battling with Kaj, his lack of listening, and bad attitude I have my boy back this week! He is positive, and upbeat, and prompt, and listens the first time- no questions-I am loving this sweet boy. My conversation with him this morning, in this order was: "Mom, I want to marry you when I'm 16 because you are beautiful...I want to grow a mustache when I am 16 like dad...when the new baby lady gets here I want call her Izzy, cause that it her name."

For quite a few weeks now, when I think about my boys, our family, I feel very happy with our boys, and our family, Kaj will, without question, begin talking to me about a little girl. He will ask when the baby girl will be here, he will look around our kitchen table, and ask me, "Where is the baby girl going sit?" He will count how many boys are in our family,  and how many girls. And the latest was just over the last couple days that he will call her "lady baby" instead of "baby girl" and before he would give her a name of just an object that he sees in the room: "shoe," "iPad" he is now calling her Izzy. 

I love my family. I love my boys, and even though there has been a lot of tears, over a lot of things, and from a lot of different people over the last month, I am so happy to be where I am right now. 

Trying to Handle This

Lately, I have just felt like I am just trying to stay afloat. In all honesty, "I am not a strong swimmer"so this analogy is very fitting. I am constantly trying to find time to initiate chore charts, create new and more functional patterns in our day, have the sanity of cleaner home, but time and time again the boys will literally give me the run around, and then it's just back to surviving the day. I have conversations with friends, with family: "this is just a season of life, you have to give yourself a bit of a break, be patient with yourself," but when you have a laundry list as long as I have of things you need to improve, change, or just plain do at all it becomes overwhelming. And that has been, in a nutshell, my life in the last couple weeks. I am wanting to be the best version of myself. The version of me who has some of pre children qualities, the one that is easy going, and always wanting to go and do new things, the one that practices singing for hours, and writes and plays the piano, and then the best version of myself as a mom, the one that can organize at least one thing every day, clean one room every day, has breakfast made for the kids as they awake, and have chores lined up afterward, and they happily do them with enthusiasm and promptness, the mom that is smiling in awe at her children and they smile back, that I always speaking calmly and I am heard. The best version of a wife, the best version of a daughter, a sister, a friend, and when you are trying to do all this and realize all the things you need to work on, and where do you begin you will be exactly where I am sitting right now. Sitting, with a permanent expression like Jim from the office slapped on my face. 

Sure, the boys are cute, funny, and fun, and sweet, and really quite nice actually, they still add a lot of crazy to my life. Which, depending on the day I can love the crazy or really not love it at all. But, on days like today which is the opposite of the day I described above, and Kaj comes into my room and tells me he wants to sing me a song to make me feel better with Josh singing back up at his side, and they both proceed to make up as they go a long, "because you are really nice mom, and today is really fun, and we can have fun today..." and so on and so forth I think to myself, " I must be doing ok."

what I love about this picture is that you can tell Rowan has a smile on his face as he watches Josh from afar

Happy 1 Year to Rowan

I really can't believe my baby is 1. The year went by so fast. A one year birthday is a strange one, it definitely feels like cause for celebration, but I think for mostly the mom because you got through the year, and so much happens in that year, and there has been so much progress from bringing home an infant, who doesn't sleep through the night, is eating every 3 hours, doesn't really move much at all, and relies on you for every thing to being able to do so much on their own. But, on the flip side, the one year does not know it's their birthday. So, you are really celebrating your victory for the year, and of course, happy that the little one, has in fact, been in your family for the year. That's nice. 

I really do love this little guy so much. He is happy, and sweet, and tender, and has a bit of an adventurous spirit about him. I was talking to Whitney today and mentioned that I get this feeling that Rowan is going to be my dare devil, accident prone child-which I hoped by saying it out loud would make it less true. Because, despite the fact that he merely army crawls his way around the house, he is always getting under tables and chairs, getting into the cupboards, wanting to hold himself up standing, and then just letting go to get down when the mood strikes him, and when I am holding him he tries to wiggle out of my arms and lunge forward with the confidence of someone who can actually fly. So, tonight, Sam was not yet home from work, and I usually let the older boys watch something short and play while I have Rowan tubby, and then get him to bed. So, it was business as usual, and Rowan was doing his regular swimming laps, standing up, then sitting back down, which I usually have to help lower him back down, so he doesn't slip in any way. Then he will swim again, stand up, sit down- so he was standing up, and I was just waiting till he was ready to start sitting back down, but tonight instead he launched himself forward, hitting his face against the toilet seat, and began slipping on the floor when I caught him, and as I wrapped him in his towel, and stopped a little bleeding from his Quasimodo lip, I thought: "I knew it, he is going to be my dare devil accident prone..." I am terrified.

Back to birthday. It was a good day. I had balloons scattered around the house for when the boys woke up, sang to Rowan when he woke up, and then we just had a regular planned day. Josh had his cavities filled in his teeth, which he now has the reputation as "the best 2 year old maybe ever" title at the local pediatrics dentistry. (not to steal Rowan's thunder) and then we made a blue cake that the older boys helped me with. We sang, and Rowan opened one present and that... was it. 

Rowan is definitely loved a lot by his brothers, and he is still little enough where the boys give him their toys pretty willingly, and are eager to help him. Little by little he is starting to get more welcome to the older boys club, and he can get Josh and Kaj really laughing sometimes. I also should note that Rowan is a bit of a dad's boy. He loves hanging out with Sam, he loves when Sam gets home from work, or if he get to see him in the morning, he stays a lot happier when he is sitting on Sam's lap, and he usually wants to move on from my lap to play with the nearest item on the floor pretty quickly. The bias in me thinks he has the best smile ever. 

He continues to be more and more fun every day.

Merry Christmas '14

Merry Christmas! I am actually blogging right amid the chaos that is Christmas day, where any kind of structure is out the window, and a hurricane of toys have come through the house, and meals consist of snacks, and cookies.

Kaj: You were so excited about your angry bird with tele pods this year. Dad and I thought for sure you would lose it over the skylanders that we have heard endlessly about for the last month, and that was not the case. I love how happy and excited you are for others. It is a quality I have noticed in you for a while, and I hope you come to know that this is a very special thing, because it is rare. I also have loved that you refer to gingerbread man, as well as gingerbread houses as "ginger batman" and "Ginger batman houses." It is hilarious, and awesome! I have tried to focus on the way I am saying it to see if I am, in any way, mumbling, and I feel confident to say that I am not, but, I am very slow to make the correction. It is my "moff cloff." You are a sweet brother, and becoming a better example all the time. I have overheard you talking to Josh when he is sad to calm him down, and telling him things to make him feel better. You have fun with Rowan, and really enjoy laughing with him, and playing with him, and he loves every second of that attention from you-it will amazing this next year to see what kind of buddies you will become. I love you, Kaj. I am very happy to have you as my boy.

Josh: You are almost 3- need I say more? I have seen some...changes in you the last few months, and I can see you are trying to test some limits, which is ok, Josh, you are growing up. You are fun, you are exciting, you are quick to help me, and very adamant about helping especially if Kaj is trying to help too. You are learning what it is to be a big brother, and you are very patient most of the time. You love stories, you love listening to the same story again and again. You have started recently coming into our room every night after putting you to bed and insisting you sit on the potty. You usually don't go. But, you sit there, and then you decide when you are done, and you always wash your hands, and off to bed you go officially. You love ninjago, and you are the "blue ninja" most of the time. You were excited about the your ninjago legos, and have been playing with them contently all morning. You talk so much. You love to repeat prayers, or somewhat say them yourself. I really love to hear what you have to say. You are smart, and silly- an awesome combination. I love the spirit that you bring to the house, always have, and it seems like you have been a part of our lives a lot longer than 3 years. I love you, Josh. 

Rowan: You are seriously so cute, and so fun. You have an infectious laugh, and I will do just about anything to get you to laugh-embarrass myself to new levels. You have been my best sleeper since 5 months old, and there are no complaints with that. You absolutely love time with your brothers, tubby time with all 3 of you is your favorite time. You are the fastest army crawling thing in these parts. You are now attempting stairs, which you can do successfully on your own with me by your side. You are a pleasant little guy, that really loves your food, and persistent that the food keep coming or you start with the screeching. You love being with the family. You are open to new faces, and usually give people a sweet smile. You have 2 bottom teeth, and I can see the top 2 slowing peeking. You are a good, sweet boy, and I am excited to see what next year is like with you. I love you Rowe bears. You are my little bug.

Playing Holiday Catch Up

It's been long enough since I last blogged that I am actually losing content, so I need to play my holiday catch up now. We visited Utah for an early Thanksgiving, and stayed for 6 days. (Not long enough) We had been anticipating the trip for a while, and I heard a lot of "Are we going to Mor Mor's today?" 

We left on a Thursday at 10:00am, we had been hoping to leave much earlier, but we had to get the car in to get the tires changed, which was a wise decision. The drive there was really really really long. Sam had been really into his second book of a series, and he put on headphones, yes, noise blocking headphones after about a half an hour, which was my cue that I was on deck. I wiped Josh's noise every 20 minutes or so the first 5 hours of the drive, and then a little less frequently after that, I was on shows, food, Rowan, the whole 9. I was thrilled to take the wheel for the last couple hours. Ok, so it was long, but, when I look back at it, the boys did so well. They were well behaved, they listened, they didn't complain. I have to say as far as a 10 hour drive goes, it could have been so much worse. We got in around 10:30pm, and were thrilled to get the boys set up to sleep, chatted for a bit, and then slept also. 

We had a great time with family, and friends. We saw the new and improved aquarium, and it really is improved! The boys really like running around looking at everything with their cousins. We got family pictures done while we were in town, which we are anxiously awaiting them-maybe not losing sleep over, but excited to see how they turned out, but it was pretty amazing, because we were able to get all the cousins in a picture, which seemed like an impossible feat the last time we tried. We played games together, we had the kids play and enjoy time with each other, we had a lovely Thanksgiving meal which as Sam expressed his excited for mashed potatoes and gravy I realized I may want to be a grown up sometime and try that out at my own home! What a concept! Anita came over, and I felt so grateful to be surrounded by my family. I really feel blessed to have all of them enrich my life, and now to see them with my kids. It means a lot. 

The down side of the time was as I had mentioned wiping Josh's nose the whole drive long, well that is because of course the day before we left he started getting sick, we had not been sick for quite a while before the trip, and even since getting home, just when we go on vacation. So, at one point Sam and I were both feeling pretty lousy, Rowan was getting sick, and Kaj just mildly got sick, but it was all while we were in town. I really loved visiting. I love being able to stay with my parents, and being able to stay and talk with them, and spend time after kids are in bed. I love how happy my boys are to be with their MorMor and Pappy, and how loved they are. It really does make such a difference just seeing that, because it honestly can be really hard living far away. The relationships that I want to have are very important to me, and I love spending quality time with those people, so I always hope that there is still room for me and my family whenever we visit, even when there are memories being built when we are not there, and so far, so good. It was also amazing how many members of my family commented on how great Kaj is. How well behaved, and what a great kid he is, and really enjoyed being around him. He is a great kid, I am very lucky to be his mom.

We also were able to see Jon and Mandy and their family. They had recently got into a house, and we were able to see it, and listen to the plans they have for it. They were really excited, and we were very happy for them. They have great kids. Ben and Elena were waiting for us to arrive, and helped welcome Kaj and Josh right away, wanting to show them their toys, offering to help with shoes and jackets...whoa! Is that what it's like to have older kids?! My goodness! We had some food, and great conversation. We went over to BYU afterward, and got some cookies n cream chocolate milk, it was pretty delicious.

We also were able to spend time with friends while we were in town. We had a fun night with Ashley, Justin, Kathy, and Becca. We played games, and had good laughs, and great conversation. It was so fun being with everyone. I was also able to see Kim Hughes, who I adore! We calculated it had been about 2 years since we had last seen each other. Which seemed so wild. It was so strange to me that she and her family are in Utah... because Utah will always be my home, with my family there, and here Kim is... my New York friend now in Utah! I know! Right?! Mind blown.

The last night in town, Erik, Sam, and I went to the shooting range, because I had never been, and practiced shooting, and I was terrified. It took a lot of time before I finally felt OK about the whole thing. We met up with my parents, who had the boys at the Lego store, and we had plans to all go see the newly renovated Anita's house, but the boys were tired and cranky, so I was able to go, and it was nice being able to leisurely walk around, and enjoy really looking at all the amazing changes that were done. It was also fun to go with my dad, who could explain the details, and just how tricky parts of it were to do, and to still end up so amazing. It really is so strange that we even lived there once upon a time, and after seeing I definitely think Sam should see it for himself when we go back. 

All in all, so awesome to see everyone. We have a great family, and I always look forward to my visits. I miss them, and think of them every day.