A lot of Little Josh

I have wanted to do an update on little Joshy. Frankly, this kid cracks me up every single day, and he is so easy to be around. He is happy and content with most everything, and when he isn't happy it is usually very short lived, and quite on the humorous side, and rarely frustrating. He wanders every where, and it doesn't matter whether he has company or not-he will go. He is fearless with his wanderings which always creates more fear in the mom. He loves to "reorganize" He likes to replace DVDs into various cupboards, shoes in different baskets, make water bottles more easily accessible, and of course, consolidate all of Jack's dog food into his water bowl. Haha. He is very helpful. He follows directions, and is the first to put clothes in the dirty clothes, and throw things in the garbage-which also means I find many a diaper in the hamper, and luckily (crossing fingers) I have caught all those diapers before they have gone into the washing machine. Josh loves trying things on. He loves getting into my mom's hat basket and stroll around in different hats, he likes to wear all glasses he runs across, he has sported Sam's stethoscope on occasion, and is now is making funny attempts to put his own clothes on. When things go missing Josh is usually the culprit which really means it could be anywhere, and mostly likely will be tucked away in a drawer inside of the water bottle that obviously makes sense. He loves to dance, and has a lot of great moves, that seriously -where does he come up with this stuff? Every song is his favorite song. He loves doing "wheels on the bus" especially when the doors open and shut, and also "itsy bitsy spider" but, he is very quick to jump to the end of the song, and start clapping joyfully. Because of his great attitude, this in turn has made Kaj look like a bit of a drama queen, not because we are telling Kaj he is drama queen, or even looking at him like that but Josh will often look over at Kaj when he is upset and just smile, or laugh like "it's cool, bro, it's cool." (I do not think that he will actually talk like that) So needless to say, I had to do an update on this kid, because I really don't think there is much cooler out there than Josh. I feel every one could use a little Josh in their life.

(On a side side note my last blog expressed excitement for the next phase of our lives to begin, because of a job that Sam the morning I wrote that blog, said that he was going to be accepting. So in the meantime, he turned it down. There is not much I can say about it right now, and that is why I am not writing about it.)

Sneak Peak

I have been sick. I have been tired. I have been so low energy, and pretty dang moody. And, of course there is a reason for all this. Baby #3...is baking away. This freaks me out a little just saying it- so hopefully I can get used to is as time goes on. This has felt somewhat unreal to me, and I have not put tons of thought into it, because I am simply thinking of all the ducks that are not in a row yet, and those dang ducks had better line up! We have a job offer...as of this morning Sam is taking it. I want him to be happy and excited about taking it, because I would be happy and excited about it. Not because the job is best, just because it represents the new part of our lives beginning to take shape. It means we can begin to plan, and think more about our future, and our family. We have been so grateful for the support of family at this time. We are grateful to have gotten through PA school. Sam still has the boards to take- which are a week from today, but he has been studying very hard, and I am certain he will do well, despite how hard it is. 

As for this little one...I was very happy to you on the ultrasound, it made me forget about the ducks. I was smiling to see you wiggle around, and stretch your little hands, and feet. I was so happy the moment I saw you. So, that has got to mean something. 

Dear Blog,

I feel like when I used to write in a journal and it had been so long that I ended up apologizing to my journal. "Dear Journal, sorry it has been so long..." as if the journal lost sleep not hearing from me. In this case, my blog may have lost some sleep, or shed some tears, because it has been so long.

A week ago I attended a funeral of a friend I went to high school with. It was strange finding out he had died, and thinking back on what I remembered of him. We had lost touch, but for some reason this last month he had come to my mind frequently. I even thought I should really get in contact with him again. That I wanted to reach out. But then in those moments where I really thought about what would I even say after all this time, or doubted that he would really care hearing from me I would talk myself out of it. Sometimes, I feel like I am better off  running with the instinct of my thoughts, or the spontaneity of that moment, because now, I really will not have the chance to reconnect with him.

The funeral was different than what I am used too, but a good service for him. It was intended to be casual, and that anyone who wanted to talk, could get up and say something. Sitting there, I thought, what should I say? I don't know why I think that way? I always feel like I should say something. (I did not get up and say anything for my family members who read this, and get anxiety with the thought) But all I can say is that this taught me to reach out more. It made me grateful for all the friendships I have had in my life. For the friendships I still have, but perhaps they may not know how important they really are to me, because that Renlund side of me comes out and I shy away from chances to reconnect.  I have been fortunate to know that people I have known. The theme of the day was probably the fact that he didn't judge others like most people did, that he always wished the best for every one, and that he made everyone around feel important. 

I went with my friend who I grew up with, and was happy that I was with her, because she is a bit of an alien in the way that she does not show much emotions, and she was able to lighten the atmosphere by talking about normal things. We spent most of the time talking to J'ames best friend. They were the kind of friends that were never without the other. In the construction of a sentence you would always find both their names side by side. That's how I remembered them. They walked everywhere, and they were friends with everyone. They did not belong to cliques, they took every one at face value, and therefore did not limit themselves. I was happy to listen to their adventures together in Europe when they joined the circus, and they didn't have any money, and they sat on the bus with this old man who kept spitting sunflower seeds on the floor by them, and how every night they would write in this journal that they both shared. They always had the most hilarious stories, and I was glad that had held true to the end.